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Alright, hon, you asked for a response you got it : I pity that you can even live with yourself in the situation you describe, where you paint yourself as having a rather avoidant personality with extremely narcissist tendencies: one who contributes to the ruin of a marriage by knowingly sleeping with another woman's husband. Reading your posts in this thread, you come off as defensive in response to the thoughts of others which you voluntarily elicited, showing not a modicum of accountability for your actions. How people reading this have themselves been cheated on or have had an entire family torn to shreds due to cheating (me, for one- on both counts)? I that you smarten up and learn to be accountable for your actions, that you self-reflect and gain awareness expanding beyond your immediate desires. I (and surely women) been in similar positions where I've regretted my actions. I am only a few years older than you and I've been in similar shoes as yours. I am continuously moving away from that and have painstakingly learned that to deflect responsibility shows that you have some internalized issues to work through which prevent appropriate action from happening. Trust me, it be hard work to look at yourself in an authentic and realistic light, but in the end a more meaningful relationship that you truly value come of it. The sooner that you learn and know this, the sooner you be in a position where you are not impinging either direct or indirect emotional harm onto yourself others. If you're out to get revenge on this that has toyed with you- good. You have a right to be angry, as it seems that you have indeed been used by an older. As as you know that the very best thing that you can do is to move on and become a strong woman of integrity and eventual wisdom, one who choses to make the right decisions rather than defend the idea of sleeping with a married, he not have taken advantage of you. looking for good down to earth femaleNOT with him stating his position, but with continuing to contact her, knowing hers. When someone really cares about us, we can usually tell. He knows. So it's selfish to keep trying to pull her back into the sort of relationship he already knows she doesn't want. It's also downright egocentric to argue that his POV is the only valid one. Poly is his choice, mono is hers, and both choices are valid. She just doesn't happen to share his, and he isn't respecting her choice. IMHO, that kicks it up a notch from being selfish to downright manipulative. There are plenty of women out there he can choose from. When she comments about him wanting to keep her in a box, she doesn't sound far off. A nice guy would wish her well and let her be, while she licks her wounds and gets over him, and eventually finds a guy who wants what she wants. A not-so-nice guy would keep testing the waters to if he could persuade her into his POV, which, in his view, is the only valid one. Ick! horny couple
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