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horny for same now so, deep inside you're hurting for some (un)known reason and you take it out on the ones you the most in the form of anger and bitchiness. you found a guy who agreed to take it, probably because he lacks self-esteem. it worked well for a time. he took it and took it and took it, so you felt everything was just fine; you always made up. you saw no need to change. you don't understand his words, his actions, then again, you never really tried, you just lashed out because you were hurt and confused. you never let your wall down, even for a second. sometimes it takes someone leaving to wake us up. sometimes we wake up on our own because our brains set the alarm clock. sometimes we never hear the clock or pretend we don't care when he finally leaves. if you WANT to change, you can. is it too late? don't know, probably after 5 years. but you have a CHOICE. either with him or the next guy. learn to yourself and you'll stop doing that shit. stop doing that shit, and you'll learn to yourself AND others. me if you want to talk, this stuff is crazy hard and i know a bit about it. maybe i was off in my description, it was a stretch, maybe not.
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