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I'm wondering how everyone handled the aftermath, so i'll post a little background about my situation first then get to my question. My story is simple, met someone and very quickly we became entangled. Jumped into a volatile relationship to begin with (she was fairly unstable, would have anger fits for no reason, throw things when she didn't get her way, her ex when i wasn't around so on.), i chose to overlook all these things and jumped in, i guess i figured i could fix her. Well after we became an official couple, she started spending money from my bank account (i should never have given her access but i did mistake was already made.) at first it was small amounts here and there, then it started getting out of control. When she was confronted about it she became angered and starting coming at me with nails, or whatever she could grab. I avoided hitting her (although at the end of there a few times I gave it some serious thought), I'm not a small guy 6' pounds, spent a lot of time at the gym, I knew if it ever got out of hand i'd end up doing some serious damage, so instead i chose to walk away, or take the hits and head out of the house for a few hours. SO finally I opted for divorce after 8 months of married life. Problem is I did not have a prenuptial agreement, and stood to lose a lot; at the time I had an apartment, several cars (a bit of a collection), and so on. At the start of the proceedings she said I was emotionally unavailable, always working even when at home (this part is somewhat true) and it seemed that things were going increasingly in her favor, I stated my side and how terrible life with her had been but it almost fell on def ears. So my lawyer decided the best thing to do was to sit down and settle, i was given a choice between giving her proceeds from a sale of my apartment or my life savings ($75, total), at the time my Apartment would have been worth roughly $ , so i opted in for the life savings, i wanted this to be over, but what my lawyer failed to tell me is that i would be paying for her lawyer fees as well (ooops mr. lawyer how kind of you). The fees totaled up to be over 45k between mine and hers i hear that isn't much according to some people, but it didn't matter. The only way i could get that money was pulling it off all my credit cards. So here i was 45k in debt Carroll Iowa guy looking for rebound girl
i'm not over 50, but thought this was the right group to ask .my mother in law be in desperate finacial shape when she retires in 3 years. she is still working, but just shared with me the amount she discovered she'll be getting (she re-negotiated her divorce settlement it's not anywhere near what she needs). i know that my husband and i need to help support her. she has re-fi'd, credit card debt good ole property tax. i'm thinking she'll need to sell her house buy a 2 unit (one to live in one to rent) but i'm open to suggestions on strategies to put her on better financial footing. BTW, i am not asking for money/financial handouts, just advice to point us in the right direction married man seeks amorous adventureI Fell madly in, and months into the most intense (both emotionally and physicaly) relationship I had my BF lost his job. He asked if he could do work on my house for some money while he looked. Two months later I couldn't keep both households going and he hadn't found a job so he moved in. He had a very small independant income, part of which he gave to me. In a year he had one part time job (that I got him through a friend) that he quit because they wanted him to wear a name tag. I also had to hire professionals to finish the work on the house. When I finally convinced him it was over he wanted me to pay him for the work on my place, and "couldn't move out" while paying me money, so once he found an apartment I gave him the security and first month. He still thinks I owe him money even though I have huge cc debt for diners out and trips we took. Now he works in an unaircondicioned shop 5 days a week to pay his bills. My advice, unless you can easly afford to support two people, be prepaired to pay everything, and not expect thanks. Also keep in mind that once you live together, you have a hard time getting to move out of your house, and once he lives there you have to get the courts involved to get him out (If it is his official address the have to let him back in). You have no idea who this guy is yet. intimate encounter
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