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looking for a friend and perhaps more Few people under the age of 50 are prepared for it, or for the death of a loved one. Besides death, any life crisis is *incredibly* emotional and often affects your well-being and future. Most of us go through several of those in a lifetime it's not so rare at all. The existence or not of a marriage certificate does not change the nature of your emotional relationship with your SO. In this sense, it *is* just a piece of paper. As as life goes merrily along without injury or illness, death, divorce, bankruptcy, homelessness, etc. then the piece of paper doesn't matter. Life is grand. The true value of that piece of paper is only realized at those critical times when it is necessary to protect legal rights (or to cripple you when it gets in the way of splitting up). Wouldn't it be grand if life would just roll along the way we want it to, the way we planned it? We could flip the bird at these stupid legal and political intitutions which complicate matters. But when a crisis strikes, it's at those times you'll DEPEND on those legal institutions to protect your own rights and those of your spouse. That's when the paper matters. It matters a LOT. It's not that money matters most to me But it does matter some, when I've spent much of my life pouring my dreams, effort and money into a life which I share with my spouse, and he likewise with me. Much can be pre-arranged with wills, jointly held assets, etc. But some cannot as observer pointed out, pensions and death benefits. Those go only to the legal spouse; or if no spouse, they go to no one at all. It's more about security and protecting the life we've built together, so that if either of us dies, the other can on with as little struggle as possible. If we were not married and I had no rights to his Social Security or pension, I'd survive. I'd make my own way, true. I did before we met. But this is not the future we hoped for and built together. The marriage certificate helps to protect that. desperate women Vayzi
First, the whole 'should she be able to keep them?' comment rubs me, and probably others, the wrong way. She's an adult, you don't own her, it's simply not your. BUT, let's just chalk that up to not the greatest word choice, m'-? So, why would this be important to her? You don't know the whole story, neither do I, but here's my best stab it's telling that she, a girlfriend, has the ashes. That tells me he did not have a lot of close family or friends in his life. At this point, she be one of the few people who even remember his life and holds his memory. You aren't asking her to 'move on', you are asking to wipe his whole life out of existence. That seems like a LOT to ask. If this was a female friend, would you ask the same thing? So he wasn't the of her life (really, would it be better if it was?) but he is part of her past, the past that made her into the person you want to be with today. You should honor that too. If you don't, if you push this and ask something so extreme because it makes you slightly uncomfortable, I think you might be her future ex. looking for a hottie to spoil lets txt
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