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IRL I vacillate wildly between telling outrageous stories, having pretentious philosophical discussions, and being a complete hermetic shut-in. I've recently noticed it seems to have to do with the seasons. I'm wondering about SAD. Anyway, since the fo' has been slow as shit today, here's one of my stories: So, when I was in high school I lived for one year in this teeny, teeny ass town in Colorado where my mother was the City Clerk. Now, my mother takes infinite pleasure in teasing and annoying me (it's genetic, apparently), and one of her favorite things to do is pinch my ass. I have no idea why, except that it annoys the hell out of me. So, anyway, I go up to her office one day and there she is, standing over her desk, riffling through papers and looking for something while her friend S. was sitting behind the desk hunting around, too. The door was behind my mother, so when I went in, there was her huge (huge. huge! her ass is huge) ass right in my face, so of COURSE I had to run up and pinchpinchpinchpinch it like ten times. S.'s mouth dropped open, and my mother slowly, slowly stood up, turned around, and just stared at me like I was frigging crazy, at which point I managed to yelp out, "Aaaah!!!! You're not my mother!" Turns out it was, the Assistant Fire Chief for the county, and here I am, dumb fuck closeted 17 year old Ax pinching her ass. The entire next year, every time I saw her, she would giggle and wave like a little school girl just to fuck with me and my blush. Worst. Punishment. Ever. im serious honest and want a relationshipum, my grandmothers old windbreaker, she's dead. Sometimes I hold it when I get she was the person who loved me when I was little when no one did- this little camel made by my cousin. he was a logger in Wisconsin and when he was 19 a log rolled on him and paralyzed him from the waist down, he was bedridden until age 25 when he died. all that is left of his life is this little camel and a bunch of horses painted carefully, his mother is dead, his father is dead, he had no brothers or sisters, so i keep it in front of my computer- the camel- and it's lovely- made with such care-it's a reminder of how lucky I am to have working legs and so much more- and a memento mori of him- I never met him, not once, he died before I was born. He was the favorite nephew of my grandma. When I was 8 years old my grandmother passed the camel and the horses on to me and told me to remember him, and she died that year. So I remember him. If a fire hit, that question you get, I would grab this camel My bear which I've had since I was 7. My GF makes fun of him but he's special. My miniature carousel. Symbol of romance with me my sweetheart. My alter to Kwan Yin, my alter to Our hmm Pictures of the their old socks- online dating agency
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