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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. seeking friends and company
excellent point. in addition, read carefully: you do pick the women you date. if you didn't, then you'd be with the first wierdo that oogled you. if you didn't pick your partner, then you are either: a) attracted to every single female on earth, or b) you'd be in relationships with people you are not attracted to. I'm going to go out on a limb here by saying that the none of the above criteria apply to you; hence you are choosing. secondly, you need to understand that patterns exist, with all of us, in the way we determine who we date and how we behave with others. we are not consciously aware of these patterns most of the time the qualities we are attracted in a mate stem from the way we were parented; very often in relationships, partners act out certain behaviors that went unresolved in childhood you don't have to be dysfunctional to do this (we all have unresolved issues from childhood, some to a higher degree than others and we all, in some fashion, act them out). we are not consciously aware that we are behaving this way! the point is that the particular women you are choosing, all share certain characteristics and . you are subconsciously picking these. I don't know why you are picking them, you probably don't know why you are picking them, but you are picking them. if you practiced some introspection, you might realize why it's complicated, not an easy answer but not impossible to determine. it is not necessary to come to terms with why you are choosing a certain type of person, what is important is an awareness of your own behavior, and the consequences thereof. it is the first step in promoting change which can result in more satisfying relationships. Enid girls seek sexDES MOINES, Iowa — The Iowa meatpacking plant that was the site of a large immigration raid this was accused Friday of 31 new and repeat safety violations, state labor officials said. The Iowa Division of Labor Services proposed fining the Postville plant $ , for 21 serious violations, six repeat offenses and non-serious violations. The Agriprocessors plant was the site of a separate 12 federal immigration raid that led to the arrest of nearly people, making it the largest single-site raid in. history. The citations announced Friday stem from a July 8 inspection by the Division of Labor Services that alleged safety and health violations throughout the plant. Among the citations were claims of improper storage and covering of cutting equipment, improperly stored compressed gas cylinders and fixed staircases in unsafe conditions. The 31 violations follow a combined 39 violations found in November and February inspections. Koonce, a spokeswoman for the state labor agency, said the proposed fine is the second-largest in the past year _ behind another Agriprocessors citation in March for $ . The state later reduced that fine to $42. "It's certainly a large amount for any one sitting," Koonce said. Earlier this month, a separate state labor investigation led to allegations that Agriprocessors, the nation's largest kosher meatpacking plant, employed dozens of underage workers. The state attorney general has not decided whether to file charges against the company Agriprocessors has 15 days to respond to the state's latest allegations. A company spokesman did not immediately return a seeking comment. premium dating match
where are the sexy black men in Inglewood After I loaded my burden here, I actually felt better because for the first time in my life I realized one of my flaws. Nobody knows I can be sad. And now knowing others really care. Because of my personality, the mask that I built, no one expects me to be sad or feel down but expects me to be strong, excited, animated and the life of the party! I am afraid, now, all of sudden, to say to people, I am sad or feeling down. It would be much easier to say or show this to one person that I could "trust" which I do not have now. If I say I am sad to my family, they not understand because they usually think I am angry which is most likely my mask for my sadness. If I say I am sad to my friends, they not really understand too because they never saw me sad they think I am not being serious. The short therapy I had in in the past, none of them ed on my mask. They actually reinforced my external self I am laughing, smiling, that I am happy but just feeling lonely One of the reasons, I got the dog was to treat some of my existential problems. I was told I was not sad but bored and had no responsibilities. When people say deal with issues, I have hard time understanding that. I think my issue is when I am sad I do not share it with people. It stem from lack of trust or being afraid of being accepted. I think no one would want a sad person so I share my happy side and then I forgot my sad side. I am more sad alone than when I am dating. If I go lower than the trust and not being accepted issue, I hit a block. Not sure what to do beyond that. Why don't I trust people or afraid to be accepted? Interestingly enough, I make friends fast and deep and trust them. Deep enough to share everything. I listened to people's sad stories. People sharing their sad stories with me. and I listening and helping others with understanding where their pain is coming from. Columbus inlet colony horny women
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