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Defining boundaries is very important. And apparently something crossed a boundary for DH that was unspoken and/or unknown until after the event happened Did you swallow the guys load? Could that have upset your? What specific aspect caused the hurt feelings? I think if you guys are going to continue this experiment, you need to lay down ground rules to avoid hurt feelings. Also playing in front of each other might allow for more openness and give DH the ability to off the playtime if his feelings get hurt again. Just some thoughts from someone who has been there. I you get past this bump in the road. married and lonely Daintree platonic
Guys tend to female interaction as flirting, when women talking and laughing as being sociable and friendly. How, exactly, do you "politely" shut down women who are flirting with you? Generally, just a mention of an SO in conversation marks the line in the sand, and it's an understood boundary. Men tend to think ANY female attention is a hit; women don't think the same way. SHe well just be enjoying a fun conversation. Men can get paranoid about that. The context of the actual conversation is what needs to be clarified. Unless she is touching the men, or allowing innuendo or , gasp, blushing, then she is likely just being her personable self. You need to define "flirting", since it's different things to different people. time to bring it looking for a dedicated workout partnerDear compassionate one, Please never disregard your gut feelings about a person and/or situation. Disregarding our intuition usually lands us in a mess or in danger. You are obviously very wise and mature to pick up on these red flags. They are definitely not in your imagination. Your "friend" is obviously operating from a state of fear. Fear promotes irrational and neurotic thoughts and behaviors. He be suffering from some degree of post-traumatic stress syndrome, but would have to a professional for a diagnosis. It is not wrong, weak, or unhealthy for you to feel compassion for him for his losses and his current state of pain. However, as any professional counselor tell you, all your and compassion won't fix him. It is natural to be attracted to his positive attributes. But from the obsessive/compulsive behaviors he's demonstrated in such a very short period of time, his unhealthy side would dominate the relationship. His need to make it official so is an indication that he is not operating from a place a strength. He is making the very common mistake that of us often do by jumping back into a relationship to heal the wounds and fill the emptiness of the one(s) that previously ended. I one thing that you learned from this is that if something does not "feel" right, there is usually a valid reason. I have one important word for you boundaries! You compromised your boundaries in the beginning by giving in to his pressure for a commitment too. You recovered by re-establishing your boundaries by declaring that you not open your life to a person who does not respect your time, personal space, etc But do you how you felt bad for establishing that boundary with him.? There is a great book titled "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that you find very insightful. I think anyone would benefit from reading that book. Boundaries can be tricky, but stick to your instincts. It's understandable that you his good side, but please don't trick yourself into thinking that you can somehow have the side without the weight and toll of the unhealthy. Perhaps you could find peace in praying for him.? Be intentional and determined to meet a guy who has his wonderful qualities. Please don't settle! Best wishes to you! horny wifes
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