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to get a handle on. You can't very well expect someone to put themselves under YOUR control if it's evident that YOU can't control YOURself. Good on you for recognizing this. Getting 'carried away' is really easy to do and fighting that actually runs counter to a positive characteristic of good dominants the ability to be spontaneous in scene. So there's a balance to be struck. What I would suggest if you feel like you're being 'overly spontaneous' (getting carried away too often) is to literally write our a script for the scene. You can share it with her (or not) if you like, but the idea is that you have a list of activities you wish to accomplish. You can even make it a roleplay activity if you like (tell her you're shooting a porno) and that the script MUST be followed, and that her performance be evaluated. But the key is that after you're satisfied that a particular activity has been sufficiently explored, you GO BACK TO THE SCRIPT for the next activity. If she does particularly well with an activity, you can give her a brief reward (I like a quick two-fingered orgasm) between activities, but always go back to the script. Experience eventually allow you to discard a script and allow you to play more spontaneously. But in the meantime, you're gathering information on what works (and doesn't) with her and can use that to inform your next script writing exercize. looking for something different is that youjust how much responsibility one's spouse has for meeting one's social/emotional needs. There's no hard and fast rule. Except, I would say, that every person should strive to have at least a handful (3 or 4 or 5) of close friends, activity partners, and confidantes, including one's spouse. (People you used to be close to, but who are now too busy or have otherwise drifted away, don't count.) Maybe consider who in your life you could give more of yourself to and in return receive the heartfelt companionship you're missing. And/or branch out and meet some new prospects. And again, I think the big picture is important. Even if your husband and this continue like a house on fire for the next two or years, still that's just a blip in the scheme of your marriage. married couples
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