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To feel like, "Wow, I didn't know someone like you really existed" and to feel lucky to have found one another, for however we can make it last. I confess that it is not the most comfortable feeling in the world to post this kind of ad on 's List, but I don't much of an alternative of finding what I'm looking for. This relationship would not replace what we have but fulfill what's missing. I am not looking to find someone to replace my spouse or have any to break up your marriage, or mine. I do not want to talk about my spouse or yours (at least not that much). Yes, I am married. I know, shame on me. I agree, I do feel guilty, because after twenty-plus years of marriage, I have never crossed the line. But, life being what it is, I find myself in the unenviable position of having vested too years to upset my marriage, yet I to taste the sweetest fruit just one more time during this chapter of my life. And I want to do so with the flavor of my choice, which is Asian. Believe me, I'm not a naive, inexperienced in a grown -'s body looking for some novel thrill. I have savored the beauty of some of your cultures times before marriage and I am reaching out to you because I know underneath all your layers, that you have more depth, scope and understanding than your average "gringa." searching for a workout buddy friendassets and deal with SS: One detail you have not covered are ALL THE OTHER ASSETS AND/OR DEBTS of the marriage: Are there other debts? Are they large? Assets like timeshares, cars, boats? What about all the household goods, computers, 'toys'? Those can add up to a very, even as used goods- and THAT can mess with your potential negotiation room big-time if they are not divided somewhat evenly between you. I can think of some options for you to offer 'in lieu' of monthly support 'for the generally granted period', if your goal is to get out from under this relationship and all financial entanglements asap: Let's say the SS post-tax value to her is $ /month for 5 years- that is a lump sum offer you can make of $ K vs paying her monthly. One caveat, figure the tax liability for Fed and State carefully on this, as it MUST be accurate for her status post-marriage AND you want to consider the impacts of it no longer being a reduction in income for YOUR tax status if you do this. What is your flexibility on paying off the mortgage in lieu of support and dividing liquid assets, and then quitclaim the house to her? Remember, only HALF that debt is hers in settlement, the other half is your obligation regardless. Could you pay off both halves from the savings and k shares vs dividing those assets? You've got $ K available there, plus whatever the SS lump sum value works out to. Does that come close? Here's an example: Mortgage and house value $ K. Her half of mortgage $ K, a wash if paid off vs savings/ K split. YOUR half of mortgage $ K, apply $ K est SS lump sum, balance owed $ K. You have now used up your savings mostly but preserved your K, because there's a nasty tax penalty to infringe on that Can you come up with the final $ K to close the deal? don't forget, you need a very current full appraisal done before you you truly run the number on this AND to file it in court. a foreign affair
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