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I certainly do not lack for empathy. What I am is bad at harnessing it and channeling it in appropriate ways. This is not a secret. This has never been a secret. Your example on waterboarding is an interesting one. Is a person who waterboards others to teach them what it feels like (you know for their own good) a good person? Or just a sick fuck who is simply perpetuating misery and wrapping it up in a nice story and slapping a moral bow on it to hide the act's true nature? Were the leaders of the Inquisition good people, because they were saving souls? Or were they just sick fucks? Both? Neither? Is a person who waterboards people because they think they're helping someone, and then stops when they realize it's pointless or wrong, an evil person? Or were they simply misguided at the time? I do think there is a real difference between doing harm unintentionally and doing it on purpose. One is unskilled, clumsy. Human and inevitable. The other is malicious and avoidable. Those are, for all their outwardly similar appearances (harm is being done), very different things. Perhaps I am mistaken, but this could certainly be part of what BogeyShooter was attempting to get across. The surface is the surface. There is always more than meets the eye. If you look at the heart of a thing and its bad nature, and you keep doing it what does that say? Have you not actually understood the nature of the thing yet and realized its badness, have you discovered the badness but not figured out how to turn away successfully, or have you discovered that you the thing and have no to leave it be? mature over 40 swingersis that when someone is attacking me I am usually strong enough to stand up for myself ..be it you, or hubby. I agree with everything you said, but keep in mind that on a forum such as this you don't always have all the information (and that since I am not used to posting in such forums I don't know all the rules;). If I was seeming clueless, I can only assume it is a product of the immense confusion I'm experiencing over this whole thing. As for my .that not happen..ever. I am a mandated reporter, and have had to report my fair number of cases.. My boy is my world. I'm not sure about an order of protection yet, but I did mandate that he attend a counseling session on his own. Not sure where he staying right now not even sure I give a shit. I had an affair because I made a mistake, an error in judgement, at a time in my life that was wrought with both depression and (admittedly) selfish behavior. I did not have an affair because I am a bad person. dating match
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