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He was 29 when you married him, you were 19, just entering adulthood. He left his mommma's house and molded you into his new momma. And you took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. He does the bare minimum to justify his existence. He "keeps an eye on the -" (when he's able to tear himself up from his video games now and then), while you manage all of the adult responsibilities, at work and at home, alone. You come home and do all the housework. You enable a dependent in a -'s body, and even worse, your are watching this piss-poor example set by both you and your husband. Your examples teach them that mothers do everything, and fathers are deadbeat users. If you don't break the pattern for yourself, do it for them. Now, if he managed homemaking like a SAHD who took the job seriously, that would be honorable. He's not even pretending to. You know it, he knows it, and sadly, the know it, too. What, did you fall asleep in the tanning bed or something? Forget that marriage is supposed to be a partnership? How can you say he's always been a freeloader, but you him? What's to? You've created a monster. He feels entitled to ride on your back and live off of your labors for the duration. He won't change his behavior until you change yours. You want real change? Set a deadline. Put him on notice. Either he gets a job in one month, and he remains employed, or he packs up his things (minus the video games) and moves in with his momma. You didn't sign up for that job, and you quit. He should understand that concept. He quit working a time ago. Or, you can go on with business as usual. how the lasts as your resentment grows. If you choose that option, cross your fingers, and the are smart enough to imprint on better examples of what, marriage, and parenting can be, and should be. Sorry to whack you upside the head, but you know these things already. It's only a question of whether you're ready to act on it. granny swinger in Thompson Utahadvice. When did I ask you to tell me what was wrong w/my job search skills? I'm a competent human being. I was brought to my knees 10 years ago for my stupid, irrational, selfish, immaturity. I've spent the past 10 years asking everyone I meet about what they know about life, trying to learn from the wisdom of others. The moment you state that you know everything, is the moment you admit that you know absolutely nothing. So.. I shut up, work really hard and not give up. This is the first time in these past 10 years that I'm trying to understand what it means to be worth enough to say NO. YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO HURT ME. I don't DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED FOREVER. My brother came over the night I went in to talk to my husband's 1st sgt. My brother was in the room w/his own 1st sgt. when I went in. I was so ashamed, and ,I couldn't even look anyone in the eye. I refused to answer any questions because I didn't want to cry, and the only statement I made was "I'm sorry." Before I left the room. I had bruises all over my arms from my husband throwing me into our driveway to keep me away from his check books in his truck as I followed him out the door to ask him what he wanted for dinner when he came home that night from "running errands". And I was so of anyone seeing them I wore 2 sleeved shirts. My brother came over after work after I'd talked to my husband's boss and told me to quit taking the blame and making everything my fault. He said that nobody stand up for me and if I don't myself that's fine. If I want to die because of stupid shit I did when I was 20, it's. if I want to live w/that kind of condemnation. But I had no right to put it on my kid's shoulders for them to bear too. And so, blessedw2. You're damn right. I don't want your advice. I don't need it. I didn't come here for you to tell me how to get a job. There is nothing wrong with me except the fact that I'm not a lawyer. Surprise! Sometimes, it really isn't your fault! Unless you continue to let it happen. And I don't plan on that. Maybe it's time for you to learn a little more. horny black women
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