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I was thinking of safe words during most of this. It's my own style, but she withdraws consent all sexual activity stops at least enough to renegotiate the activity. Doesn't matter if I've already fucked her twice that evening or if I'm six inches deep in her at the moment; she can withdraw consent at any point. sphynx' 'unauthorized orifice' comment rings true here someone might consent to some sexual contact but that doesn't give you license to do whatever you want. An amusing side note on her barebacking comment every sex worker I've known guides the guy into home plate, not to help with the inevitable first assignation fumbling around but to insure the still has his condom on. A very few guys try to put a small tear in the condom so it peels back when he enters her so any sex worker who's worth her fee knows where the -'s hands are and keeps an eye on Mr. Happy from the time she puts a condom on him until he's no longer in a position to damage the condom. If I'd had drinks at the bar with a woman and she invited me back to her house sex would be high on my list of expectations but I don't always get what I expect. Even in the worst case where she's a complete prick tease when she says no that means no. Sorta OT but I prefer to use a pair of safe words one that means "I'm getting close to my limit so be careful" and one that means "stop what you're doing immediately". Traffic light colors work well for this ;-) Timaru amateur pornreligious counsellors. Your wife needs someone who draw on the knowledge of science, psychiatry, therapeutic methods for healing from sexual and the Bible and religious precepts just are not going to be helpful. Religious counsellors are not trained healers of the damaged heart and mind. Get a real professional, one with experience and success in working with victims of. Counsellors coming from a womanist or transpersonal perspective have a much higher success rate than religious counsellors. I cannot tell you some of the horrors we saw from religious counsellors inthe courts. Prayer is not a medicine and has no therapeutic effects. I also disagree with the notion that it is going to take years and years and years for the healing to occur. While each case is individual, people can actually heal fairly rapidly if they are motivated and working with a good therapist. (., I have seen torture victims heal from the most horrendous.) There are some excellent new healing modalities for fast resolution of trauma, such as EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) which has helped with veterans suffering from PTSD. Find a real therapist, one with credentials and who knows what they are doing and who has a good track record and go for it. Both of you need healing she from her and you from 13 years of a unfulfilling marriage where your sexuality was disrespected. college dating sites
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