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I imagine that the petting, soothing as it might be, occupies your hands but not your mind, so isn't much use as an alternative focus for your thoughts. (I don't know if you've told us when, in this busy schedule, you make time to ruminate on your situation, but this certainly seems like it would give you plenty of opportunity.) Your therapist also sounds too passive. "Let yourself feel it"? There's something to that, but you've been feeling it nonstop for months. That's plenty, it's time to start doing something about it, so maybe you need a therapist with ideas about that instead. My own suggestion (viz. the link above) is to change the channel immediately, over and over and over and over and over and over and over, until that habit replaces your current one of thinking all the time about something that's dead and gone. And to stop thinking of yourself as a passenger in your own life, and reach out and take the wheel. looking for a friend w benifets
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