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timid boy needs big woman why are you obsessing over someone who's out of reach? In my personal experience and observation of others, one tends to obsess over someone unattainable when one is not ready to pursue someone who would actually make a good partner. You're setting yourself up for failure because you're not really ready to move forward, because you have all this crap you haven't dealt with in a way. husband, face him, how he feels, separate from him or figure out an open relationship that you can both be happy with, figure out parenting for etc. If you can't sort things out with your husband you have to separate / divorce him first before you go putting energy into women. So go take care of things at home first, get on your own two feet, and in a year or two when it's all settled, THEN start thinking about women you want to date. Meanwhile, invest in personal toys and read erotica or watch porn as an outlet for your sexual energy. It'll help prevent you from getting it on anyone. This kind of thing applies to women who obsess over straight girls (unattainable) or partnered people (unattainable) and people who've already rejected them (unattainable). Unattainable people are safe people to obsess about because you get to direct all your sexual energy towards something that's not going anywhere, therefore you don't have to move forward or deal with reality.
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