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that I am speaking from the point of view of the spouse who went overboard. I know what he's experiencing and I trampled all over the feelings of my husband, my and my friends to "get it out of my system". I had to have a HUGE dose of reality hit me and what I was doing to those who me to those I. I swung in so directions even thought maybe I was actually a lesbian then I thought I could go back to just being hetero it was all so confusing. Counseling was KEY for me! It stopped the maddness and helped me realize that I was not the only one in the equation there were real people, with real feelings that I was doing damage to. And the I who I hurt more than I can even think about stood by me and was even prepared to let me go if that meant my happiness I have a wonderful support network. There is a book out there that is written from the point of view of the spouses its stories of families real people helped me to what I was doing to him to take a step back into my life and slow down the craziness. Graz with rich womenclosed and even if it is not, it be difficult at best. Yes that is a cop out answer, but what you are asking is for me to go into depth from extensive reading. Yes that also appear as a cop out reply. Try rereading my posts, I have already given several inconsistencies of the actions of the mom and the DH. There are others, but by themselves mean nothing. It is the preponderance of inconsistencies that has me seeing this from a different view. This is plain and simple a futile endeavor on my part to even try to explain things. Try reading the article that yasuragi brought up. Even that article does not explain all the different factors happening here. Much of it has some possible validity if one were only to reverse the gender roles. My objection to that article, for some reason, focuses from a male perspective when in reality it happens much more from a mother's perspective since the way the court system is set up; gender roles and expectations the way they are in general; coupled with animal behavior where the female is the normal nurturer. I am already completely exhausted with this thread in general. The only reason I am responding is a respect for you. Ask yourself why when they BOTH agreed to a plan of paying her for chores done that they ended up paying him for half assed completion of such chores. This is a person that is also seeing a counselor! That can also be explained away but it is just one more indication of the mind set of this person. If he were such an ass, then they (ass-holes) are not generally capable of realizing they have a problem they are incapable of resolving on their own. It is a male thing more than a female thing. I can continue but for what? My reason in the first place is not to convince you or anyone but to give the OP a glimpse of what their contribution in this mess might be. singles matchmaking
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