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You cannot hint at what you want as he has no clue and is not a mindreader. You must give him specific details. Personally, if i was you i would start with asking him for a basic over the knee spanking. Just ask him to try it, and once over his knees with a naked bottom it should be obvious how to proceed, and you can tell him more and harder as you want, and when it is over thank him and show him how excited it got you. If having a discussion is too difficult at first, try writing a story about a scene that you want be detailed and don't worry about writing ability content trumps quality here. If you really can't write it down, find stories about what you would want (try that has plenty) and ask him to read them. Or you can find some porn that shows what you want. Also, let him know you don't expect him to becomne exactly what oyu want overnight it is a process for you both, hopefully term, like the lifetime that you have together. Remember that it is probably embedded in him from childhood not to hurt women, so what you are asking is not natural for most guys, but can be learned, and positive reinforcment by you when he does it helps a lot concentrate on what he does do at first, not what he doesn't do. BTW, i am married an my wife was pure vanilla when we met, but was willing to try and over the years we figured out where our desires and needs overlapped. only reply if you like 420 sex
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