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Get into counseling, STAT, set your hormones (her-moans) aside, and put on your thinking cap. don't bite so hard at Unselfemployed. She's right. You're in a situation of your own making, and only you can fix it. We can all say, "Oh, poor. What a mean he is, you poor little lamb." But what good does that do? As someone pointed out, you can't change what you don't acknowledge. To own your mistakes is to learn from them. You need to buckle up and be strong now. Other lives depend on the decisions you make. My impulse is to suggest adoption, as you've already got your hands full. You think I'm heartless, but actually, I'm all heart (well, alright, I am a woman of heart AND mind). My heart goes out to you, but even more to your, and to your unborn. I am contemplating what is in their best interests. And a confused mother, overwhelmed, likely unemployed, economiy insolvent, involved with an immature, irresponsible (who cheats), does not a mother make. Your Pan guy? Let him fly. If he grows up and gets into counseling with you, and seriously gets with the program (with actions words are cheap), you might let him earn his way back into your life. But let him in too easily, and you teach him that you'll tolerate anything. Demand better for yourself, your, and your unborn. I promise, being alone is far better than being in a turbulent relationship while you're trying to make a home for you and your -(ren). If you choose to keep this, he have no choice but to support him/her. Flip side of that coin is, you have no choice but to maintain a civil relationship with him with as you navigate custody, visitation, support, all that good stuff. Like I said, counseling, stat. You've got a lot to work out. I wish you the best of luck, and a lot of expert guidance. quest chat line Canton tnnI don't really care about what happens to this. There could be any number of reasons why he is acting out the way he is but that isn't my concern either. One thing is for sure, with the information I do have, I'm not holding his mother totally to blame. He is an adult and he should be responsible for himself, including getting appropriate help which it appears he needs. I also do not judge the mother and her roommate who share a history. It's their dynamic, it's worked well for years, and I'm not a part of it. That stated, my friend knows I support her and she is welcome in my home to relax or to vent or to just talk things over. reports and requests for restraining orders in this little city and the county can only be filed by the effected party. And those can not be based on what "- happen," only what "has happened" like stalking or threatening actions or witnessing vandalism. And, there really is no place for this woman to go other than her friends who live nearby or a local safe house. If she leaves the area, she loses out on school and wouldn't have a trusted emotional support system both of which are key to picking up the pieces and beginning her life anew. You are quite right about head vs. heart but that battle is one I can win by simply doing my best to provide meaningful support within my limitations and knowing when to step back. Thanks for your input I suspect this subject woke up some old memories for you as well. naughty ladies
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