To who used to work at Toys R' Us (like, 10 years ago) The thing about regret is that it sometimes takes a decent decade to manifest. You don't see it coming until you have enough perspective to peel back a few years and remember that bright, sunshine-baked corner beside Toys R' Us where we used to smoke cigarettes on our breaks and you realize that some decisions either open or close doors. You don't know this because the sound of the lock clicking takes a while to reach the ears, and you definitely don't hear it at eighteen. I don't know why I thought of you last night. It's been such a very long time; the last glimpse caught one afternoon a few years back while getting off the 211 while you were getting on. I was coming home to visit my parents, I think, and there you were. Same place. Same neighbourhood, waiting for my bus not in the metaphorical, but the literal and I thought you never moved on or moved out, but I never had the chance to ask: I was too surprised and embarrassed to after you as you got on and the doors shut behind you. I was like a fucking ninja; a shadow pulling her hood up. You never saw me. I wouldn't have been able to meet your eyes anyway. I'm sure that you're happily married with a couple of by now. I expect that someone smarter than me snatched you up and held on, sticking a into that leather cuff you used to wear so they could hold on, playful and , just in case you decided in that quiet way of yours you wanted to break free. In my youth and idiocy I was renowned for bad decisions. A former friend once said that I only made terrible ones, and she capitalized it: Only Makes Bad Decisions. I realized, lying awake last night in my apartment, that had I not completely fucked everything up had I just shown up that morning when you'd gone to to wait for me before class, had I not hit the snooze on my alarm, had I not gotten drunk and confessed everything about my stupid decision making process days later, I might've shut the door on the Array local girls white looking for sexlooking for fun good looking, clean, D+D free
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I look into domestic violence. a lot of things he does is very selfish and so hard for me to deal am the always bad person he use verbal all the puts me down and curses. I mean little curse doesn't bother me but he is very loud and my heart beats so fast everytime he day when he comes home I look at his face and worry he might gets mad and 't I forget to do anything today?Oh I forgot to put shade down thinking things that in my head and heara him start to cursing it was a hot day he turn the AC on at the night but when he leaves. he turns it off and leave the window open then hot sticky air comes inside and made it so uncomfortable to hates me turn AC on during the day even when it was really hot told me and my to go to outside to find cool out that day was really 't know where to go he didn't give me any money for my to buy any drink or taking bus to go have little saving when i was working as a part time a while It be gone put sitting add to computer but lately not people I don't have phone or internet access all the time so makes it harder for getting husband buys things for him and I understand it is his money but We need basic things in home like regular phone at least I am not asking too much I don't said I don't help do whatever I can do used to work from home even while my was in school just that work got slow so they don't have any work for is getting bigger and he eats a lot everytime we walk around he ask me to buy things so I buy him things with my saved money and my husband never pay for things like of the time I bring things from home but my is getting sick of eating peanuts butter and can not eat them so I understand but my husband doesn't he does is screaming and cursing. Malang black girl to fuckhave an affair, get a new job, or buy a car when they hit mid life. When I turned 40 I bought a new ZX. I put a big sign in the back window in our driveway so the gals in the neighborhood could it. It said MIDLIFE CRISIS CAR. virtual date
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