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i am sure he was aware of this, but given the nature of his relationship with my grandmother, it was plain that he would do nothing about it. He simply endured constant and ongoing humiliation and degradation at the hands of my grandmother. So it was that i learned to yearn to be like my grandfather, to find relationships that would put me in the position that he was in with respect to my grandmother. However, this was something my grandmother would not tolerate for me. Although she insisted on my submissiveness to her, she demanded dominance from me when it came to others. So i could not act on my feelings, and in fact, i had to overtly act the exact opposite of them. Covertly, i began to crave and yearn to act as servile, submissive and obsequies as i could bring myself to imagine. Because deep down inside, my essence was extreme submissiveness; a yearning to be like my grandfather. However, this was something that would not be tolerated by my grandmother. i had to secretly play out my submissiveness, while hiding it from others. For some reason i cannot explain, my hidden submissive desires turned intensely sexual during my adolescence. When i was able to act on or fantasized about my submissive nature, i would experience a sexual arousal and stimulation beyond anything i could experience in a normal sexual way, such as looking at a Playboy magazine. i grew up going to Catholic school. All the girls in the school wore the basic school uniform. White blouse, plaid pleated skirt, white ankle socks or knee socks, and patent leather shoes. Somewhere around the sixth or seventh grade, i began developing sexual fetishes that submissives develop. i was sexually aroused by the girl’s feet, black patent leather shoes, ankle socks and knee socks, and their plaid skirts, which they always wore shorter than they were supposed to. The of my during these years was a girl named. She was a very girl, but she had a very arrogant, bitchy, attitude of someone who knew she was smart, and popular. horny mature ladies in North South Carolina
My grandmother was the same way widowed at 35, and lived until she was 92. She was a vibrant, interesting woman, and when I once asked her why she never remarried, she said, "There was never anyone as good as he was!" However, I think what happened was that she grew up in a time (20s, 30's 40's) when women had far fewer economic opportunities and roles to play. She, however, found a niche and made a tremendous success of it and I don't think she was interested in subjugating herself to another once she had that taste of freedom. It was far easier to be a grieving romantic than it was to explain that she just didn't want to deal with a meddling in her business! Let's face it not all marriges were perfect, and divorce was very uncommon back then. There were a lot of people who, once they were no longer married, had NO to jump back into the frying pan of marriage. Maybe your grandmother had a low sex drive. Maybe your grandmother didn't feel like dealing with another in her life, having to make compromises, etc. You can your own problem "loyalty", if you want to. Personally, I it "fear." But hey, if you don't WANT a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you do you need to figure out how to re-enter the dating world. You might want to consider a few sessions with a counselor, to understand better what is stopping you from having a and rewarding relationship with another you still have some unresolved issues from your past relationship. sexting trading older women amateurs swingersHot local girls want bbws looking for sex love chat
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