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You just have a guy who doesn't do well with gifts. Gifts flummox them. They get nervous in jewelry stores. And they are god-awfully aware of the significance placed on any gift, and have this overwhelming sense that nothing they do is going to be right, anyway. Stop knocking yourself out with the gifts to him. While I'm sure he likes them, he'd also probably be happy with something simpler that you didn't spend as much effort on. Gifts are how you show your. It's not how he shows his. And that's what's really bothering you, isn't it? You equate the gifts with, and you're not "seeing the." The thing with dates and schedules that's different. That would league piss me off, for him to be that disorganized. It sounds like he's in the habit of living his own life just the way he likes, and isn't accustomed to having to take anyone -'s life into serious consideration. Buy him a big calendar for his birthday :-) Encourage him to use an on-line calendar that synchs with his phone, and map out game schedules, -'s events, vacations, etc. Frankly, if he's living in the house and being a part of these -' lives, then choosing to skip an important event is bad form. Does he include the in his sporting outings? Living as part of a couple means that you don't always get to do what you want to do when you want to do it. You shouldn't be afraid to say, "No, it's important to me that you do this with me/us." He's figuring that if it was important, you'd speak up. So speak up. You guys need to sit down with a calendar every couple of months and plot out things, with non-negotiable items highlighted in red, with "don't even THINK about asking if you can change this" status. For him, too. On a calendar, you both can how time is being allocated, and perhaps arrange it a bit more fairly. It's part of being a team. You guys aren't a team, yet you're roommates whose schedules are sometimes convenient. BTW, that thing with the rodeo was just stupid on your part. When he realized it was important to you and said that he'd come, you should have smiled and said, "Great. That's what I wanted. Thank you," instead of being pissed off that he wasn't excited about it, too. You aren't wrong. But you aren't % right, either. Colorado Springs Colorado hour at the encounter
You value yourself too much to allow him to throw you under the bus. yourself on the back and count yourself a bit wiser. Wisdom is a great thing to have, even if it sometimes comes from adversity. It's the silver lining of the dark cloud that USED TO BE him. Congrats. midwestern gurl lookn 4 good manYou're losing you marriage, it's very clear isn't it? Divorce means you'll be relying upon yourself, no more of this 'can't afford to work'..that be solved in one quick and decisive decision. support won't really get you through. So what to do? Well, Mr. I don't give a fuck .better start giving a fuck because you're out the door if he doesn't. These fishing trips he treasures so much, well some support payments cut back on that shit. His life be really different and most likely he'll blame you. Look, you need to quit whatever you're doing, because you know it isn't working. Trying the same old shit is just banging your head into a brick wall. Lose the complaining, the whining, the 'trying to talk' or the little bullshit moves you do to open him up. Pull up your big girl panties and get serious. Lose the emotions for a bit and THINK. 1. Was this marriage ever good? Be honest now, don't get romantic on me. Was there a time you thought your marriage was what you wanted? Well? 2. IF and that's a big if, the answer to question one is yes then at least there once was something that MIGHT be worth saving. If the answer is no buckle down and prepare for a divorce. Get to where you are self supporting, set the goal and DO IT. 3. Now if you've really and I mean really had a good marriage at one time .roll the dice one more time. Like an adult. All you owe him is the opportunity to step up and work with you. You don't owe him carrying the full load when you've stated clearly the marriage fail without his help. So, you're at the point of perhaps giving him the opportunity. Get a sitter, are out of the house. You let him know you have something to say, and MEAN IT. Our marriage is failing, I know I have tried to communicate to you how to make it something we both want note the BOTH, not just you, this is a team decision so don't sit there with your list of fucking wants..no. Ask him, yup ask him if he likes your marriage as it is calmly and seriously. Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Sick of me, sick of being some guy with a ball and chain? Someone you just say 'I don't give a fuck' to when she comes up to you and asks for something? Then LISTEN if he actually speaks up. If not, you have your answer. long distance relationships
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