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all turtles are slow- even you. I want you to know that the decision I made did not come easy. I missed you and think of you often still. When I came over that night, I did not know what was to come. Running on instinct isn't always the best for me. I always remember those Thursday nights with a nostalgic longing. I wanted those nights back; for things to return to how they were. But this last time I realized that wasn't to be. It wasn't the same. I still haven't figured out why. Maybe it is because of all the ups and downs we have had. Or perhaps it was because I was conflicted about him. Whatever the reason I have chose to trust that things worked out the way they did for a reason. I know you disagree. I may be wrong. But I remain believing in the notion that 'if we were meant to be, then we would already be.' Plus, I do not want to short change him at all. He is a good man. We may have some communication failures at times and less passion than you and I, but he encourages me to pursue even when all I want to do is run. So for that I am grateful. He deserves more than I can give him. Especially since some of me will always be with you. I just pray this decision won't come with later regret.
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I'll try to make it short: Married 2 years, DH lost interest in sex within months of the wedding, after so much rejection I quit trying to be intimate with him. We finally made it into marriage counseling but we had to change counselors several times. Our latest counselor has helped a bit. Our homework for the week was to decide on a day of the week to have sex. It was supposed to be last. He didn't want to have sex until after I was asleep night, so we moved the date until Wednesday but he was too tired. Thursday neither one of us brought it up. Finally today around 5:00, I was feeling frisky so I initiated and he said he needed to shower and manscape. We had to pick up our dog from the groomer by 6:30, so I told him to hurry. Around 5:45, he came to find me and had the computer. He wanted to show me this video about how to give an amazing blow job. I was excited about it until 10-15 minutes had gone by and he hadn't even found the video and our window for sex was shrinking. Finally, I said, "Why don't I go get the dog and we'll resume this later." He wanted to have sex right then. I told him I didn't want to rush and be worried about the time the whole time. He said he wanted to right then. I said fine and spent the whole 20 minutes feeling resentful. He said he wanted to talk about it since it didn't seem like I enjoyed it and I told him that I felt like I had to have sex since he's the one who basiy controls when we do it. The other issue is that the resentment over the 2 years of rejection has really made me lose attraction to him. He is a very attractive guy and I felt repulsion during sex. I can't say that to him, but is there anything i can do about it? Has anyone here ever recover from feelings like this? Is it worth trying? I know the lack of attraction from my side is probably a result of resentment. How do I let that go? Was I completely unreasonable to be upset about the sexcapade today? fuck women New HavenI am having a feel sorry for my self kind of day. It is not so much the end of the marriage but I feel overwhelmed with my court stuff here in reguards to my divorce, custody in Alabama left unresolved, due to my rental arrangements I am stuck in a house with 2 window units that suck my pocket dry and still never cool because 2 units do not cool the whole house! The people who are suppose to cut my grass have not been here in weeks and it is so high my little dog can not go potty outside in our yard, the can not play outside,and it is just a bug fest in general. My landlord went home so my internet is off more than it is on because it is rigged to run in all 3 houses and the main DSL is in the house next door. Damn do not F%$ with my internet! That is my only means of social interaction, which in itself is another thing all together! Feel better already just to have gotten that off my chest! Pouring a fresh one. Here is to tomorrow, a fresh new 24 hours to screw up any way I fit! sex chat sites
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