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G m4w I don't know why but I've been thinking about you lately, I've been having some dreams about you the last few days, and now its making me think about what could've been if I had said something. When you first left I was pretty sad, but eventually forgot about you, thought you were just another crush I had as a kid, then you came back for a year, we were talking as friends everyday. Then you were going to leave again, and said you would be back next year, and I believed you. But your bf didn't live that close to where we went, I don't know why I didn't realize you wouldn't be back I guess I wanted to believe that you were, then you never came back again, I admit I was really sad, and bummed you lied and you weren't coming back. So I moved away from where I lived, where i grew up. Since then I forgot about you till recently. I had a dream about you a couple weeks ago, and been thinking about you ever since. I've had several dreams about you lately, I don't know why. For someone I had never actually gone out with or even been really close to, I was crazy about you, I'm pretty sure that me liking you was obvious, even to you. I've changed since then, I doubt you'll ever see this but I've been thinking and dreaming about you so much lately I had to say something. I don't know how to get a hold of you. I don't know what your up to, and I don't even know where you live. But I've been thinking so much about what could've been if I just grew some back then and actually asked you out. seeing you with another guy when we were little drove me crazy. I always thought I'd have more time to get the courage to ask you out. But theres never enough time. Wondered what could've been if I had asked you out in middle school. Wondered what could've happened if I had asked you to stay and asked you out in HS. Wondered what could've been if I would've told you how I really felt about you. I'd like to say I have no regrets because everything in my life has made me the person I am tod
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I've just been thinking a lot, thanks to the fork in the road I'm faced with in my own career. Except the fork in question looks like one of those multiple weiner-roasting trees advertised in camping departments. I'm finding more and more a need to choose carefully my compatriots, whether at work or in life in general based on having that much-ballyhooed examined life. While I don't doubt most people are just doing their best, I'm definitely hitting a variety of limits when it comes to dealing with people who move like tornados, where they blow in and just leave a trail of wreckage in their wake. This is in contrast with people who enter unfazed, assess the situation, and start putting things aright. I also find myself paying very close attention to exactly what it is I have to share and contribute, and requiring the same awareness from those around me. Seems obvious, but it s into question how best to manage various relationships while still maintaining personal integrity and an open hand in dealings with others. And while most people are never % either/or, I do find myself asking: Are you a tornado or a sphere of calm? Are you a giver or a taker? If I help you and always give you my best, you be there for me as well? Lord knows I've had lots of occasion lately to just flat out say "It's time to grow up and make decisions as befits a functional adult." But I can't do that, so I have to find other ways to deal with what's on my plate, while doing my best to do right by those who recognize the importance of giving, and what's being given. big pussy from Jackhorn sexy married women
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