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I am frustrated because my husband brings out the worst in me, not the best in me. I am more high strung, less physiy active, less social, and less attracted to him. It comes down to this: the doesn't want to do anything but watch tv, play guitar with his buddies, go online and surf the net, and play with our when he's happy and not in need of a diaper change. He's not Mr. Handy won't fix things around the house (and really, he shouldn't because when he attempts to he gets frustrated and breaks things) doesn't perform routine car/yard/etc maintenance, and cleans occasionally. I feel like the house is always a mess. I'm always busy. And then he has these grand ideas, like gardening, that he starts but then drops interest and so I'm left to do the whole darn thing. And after all this, he wants a b-job and sex. I want to punch him, not cuddle up with him and make sweet soft. I thought about it the other day and realized that I no longer have anything in common with my "former self." The girl that I loved; who after the period of trying to find my identity I found. I live in the country, I'm overweight, I never go out, I am behind on my bills, I have a kid (which is a good thing), and I sit in a messy house. It's gross. I understand that I need to take some responsibility. I've asked him to help. I am an independent woman and I like the idea of but there is no way that's happening. So, do I just say "f-it" and do it all? I mean, if I were divorced I'd have to do it all anyways. This way I get to keep my husband too and perhaps a little more sanity. He's just so f'in selfish. UGH!!! (End of rant). married for Cape coral hour
When I want the quick release, I'll go to porn. But when I feel like working for it, I'll go to fantasy. The other day I was fantasizing about a female friend: Seeing her in the mosh pit at a show, throwing people around and being generally rough. She's loud and, just the way I like it. I took her into the bathroom, took off her pants and licked her thighs, then her pussy slowly. She told me to do it faster, harder. To the beat of the music. She pushed my face into her as far as it could go, holding my hair tightly. But not pulling it. She spoke in a low voice, telling me that if I didn't make her come she was going to beat my ass in the pit afterward. I slipped fingers into her, moving them in and out to the rhythm of the guitar until she came hard. No one heard her over the music. But I did. She ran her fingers through my hair and sighed deeply. I stood up and kissed her, letting her taste my accomplishment. I pulled away, licked my fingers and told her to meet me at the bar. Yeah. That one was a build up. But when it happened, it was crazy intense and I fell asleep immediately afterwards. Which almost never happens to me. looking for my pittsburgh girlSounds like you had a productive weekend! I overshare? I'm happy because well, number one, a big heaping cup of strong Sumatran. Also, looks as if we might have a day today. Apart from Saturday, when every single person in PDX ran out and mowed their lawns, it's been pissing down rain non-stop here. Which, honestly, I. But even a proud Oregonian has her limits. This afternoon I have a meeting about getting funding and support for a big project next year, and later on I might have time to apply a couple more coats of paint to the guitar I'm building. I'm also about of the way through writing my Guitar Orchestra, which is good because I have to hand out the parts to the players this week! And I have two video games to do sound for. Busy week. And busy is good. Keeps me from going on a sex, and spree! (I'm kidding about the and the part.) live video chat
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