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First, good for you for diving into how you feel about this and not just immediately dismissing your boyfriend because he told you he is bisexual. That’s a great start to responding to some big and surprising news. I’m responding as a woman who is bisexual myself. Years into my term relationship with my straight male partner, I shared that I had realized I was bisexual and we continued in our relationship beyond that. I’m not sure if you identify as straight or as part of the LGBT community, but straight people sometimes do not understand the difficulty for those of us who are in the process of coming out. It can be really scary to say that aloud to the people we after a lifetime of societal pressure to be heterosexual. I’m willing to bet that it was scary for your boyfriend to come out to you and risk your leaving him after you told him. It speaks volumes about the degree to which he trusts you, and how much he values your relationship, that he has done this. There are unfortunately a lot of hurtful myths about bisexuality, as evidenced by some bigoted responses you received to your post—we can’t commit to monogamous relationships, we cheat because need to simultaneously must have both genders as lovers, we want to have threesomes, we are confused and can’t make up our minds if we’re or straight, ad nauseum. And then there is the opinion, as evidenced here, that we who are bisexual don’t even exist. After knowing this is my gender identify for 20 years, it still stings when people negate a whole group of people so sweepingly. What being bisexual means is being attracted to both genders. That’s it. Sure, some bisexuals cheat and sleep around. So do lots of straight people. In other words, we’re just like the rest of the spectrum of humanity. So talk to your boyfriend. Ask him how he thinks being bisexual affects his life. If you’re afraid it damage your relationship, share those fears with him. Assuming you decide to continue in your relationship, ask him how you can support him as you remind yourself that he is bucking societal pressures. You find that talking openly about this bring you closer as a couple. Finally, it can super helpful to do some reading and defuse those fears with real information. Check this out. Common Myths About Bisexuality: needing a back body massageA question re California Divorce Law (Calif is a community property state): My sister and her husband are getting a divorce. At the beginning of their marriage, they purchased a home. This was, unfortunately, paid for mainly by my sister. During the marriage, a large amount of expansion and renovation was done to the home (an amount perhaps even greater then the initial cost of the home). If my sister can provide evidence that this renovation was paid for by her, is it possible that this added money that went into expanding the home could not be factored in when it comes to splitting the value of the home with her to be ex husband? In other words, is there anything my sister can now do or show to prevent the simple splitting of what the home is now worth? Thank you. dating rich women
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