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I am not conflicted over my limits, soft and hard and I don’t have a hard time communicating them. To date I’ve not felt the need to warm partners that I might go soft on my limit in the middle of a hot scene because I haven’t had a slew of partner push me that hard. This conflict only came up with one partner, my ex, with whom I did a lot of exploring and boundary pushing… he pushed and I often acquiesced. To some Dom/mes, that sound perfect… but it left me feeling yucky about myself sometimes. I have thought about this a lot and there are other factors, there’s after care, which admittedly I dismissed as silly for a time and I now its value, especially in this situation. Essentially it took me a time to discover I don’t want my boundaries pushed. My boundaries are there for a reason, to keep me in a safe, happy and enjoyable sexual space. sex married women Aldeburgh
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