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For now, I think I'm going to listen to what sphynx2 has proposed above. It's kind of a shame though I had fully drafted that 3k word pdf in my head, and it was going to be amazing very intense, and I'm kind of sure it would have made her cry. I really think it would have had a shot. But I think, at the very least, I want to spend a little more time with her first and still if I feel like I really need that 'more' If I her as a friend, which I still do, why can't I just be satisfied with that? Why should I need to spoon her and stuff, or have her around me so much? It's very tough for me sometimes after I spend a lot of time with her. I feel like I connect with her so well. Having to fully withhold affection kills me sometimes. But maybe I just need to if I can get used to it. I don't know. I'm just going to think about it. If I really care about her, I guess I'd give her what she wants friendship and nothing more. I never wanted to be needy and selfish. I feel like she was just like a., this is how I feel at this very moment, but I'm nervous it might not last when I her again. She's just so amazing to talk to. And her face just wow (exceptionally beautiful, beyond reproach). Her ability to charm, impress, be witty, everything it pierces me. And the fact that I thought I was permanently done 'wanting women' it makes it all the more impressive that she can pierce me like that. It's like "okay; I never thought I'd want to be with another woman ever again, but you win. I want you. So can I please have you. please. please. please. please. please " I'm gonna sleep on it and try to take sphynx's advice. Comments welcome (as I feel so lost). people watching buddy 39 Vail 39
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