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person justify it? I wish I could but for 16 years it has been the same. If we argue, these things start happening. It is just SO sad. I have been married before, went to Victim's Assistance because I wanted to know what was wrong with me, for real. I have faults like everyone. My fault, they told me, was that I was sick too if I put up with it. But HOW does he not notice. I show him, tell him, anything I can do, but it is like he is acting out on me what he would like to do to his siblings and parents. Is it possible that he is doing these things unconsciencely and not know it? I know the answer, but please tell me, it hurts too bad. I keep telling him I AM NOT HIS MOTHER, I AM NOT HIS DAD, I AM NOT HIS SISTER or any other relative, I am your wife, your Safe Harbor that you are destroying .why? It has been your Safe Harbor for 16 years. Why are you treating me like this? I have given him self-help books, he won't read them, he justifies everything he does, he mimics other people because he doesn't know himself, he pretends he is happy to get things from me, he gets a far away look in his eyes and sometimes I can't even reach him. PLEASE SOMEONE give me some common sense help here? I know you probably tell me what I already know, but I need to hear it again? So Sad. anyone in semo want to talkI can relate to that. Hearing the mundane details from home really does help ease stress on the combat soldier. They don't need to be stressed about problems at home (which they can do nothing practical to fix), but hearing the normal joys and fears from home helps to give some perspective to their unfamiliar environment and routines. Army counselors told me to tell him about the normal stuff what I had for dinner, how I cooked it, how it tasted and smelled; what I wore to work that day, how I arranged the furniture, what books I'd read or I'd watched, conversations with friends, the who cut me off in traffic, and so on. Details sights, smells, sounds, tastes, feelings. I just think the debate around this birthday reminder varies because it *could* be taken either way as a stressor that he's required to remember (as if he doesn't have enough to worry about already), OR as a comforting connection with home and those he loves. Much depends on the context in which you delivered that reminder. Was it with a requirement that he respond or you'd be hurt; OR was it delivered as a part of describing your normal activities with no expectation for a response????? adult find a friend
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