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Movies & DVD marathons. Love watching a season of a show in two or three sittings. Especially one I didn't know I'd like. Getting back into reading through magazines. Just flipping through celebrity fluff. Currently trying to make my way through Vonnegut's posthumous short stories and a collection of Inspector Magreit shorts. It's a very slow go. But the rain is encouraging. Going for walks. Would like to get out and get more exercise. May never be ready to join a gym. Just want to move and get fresh air. Grocery shopping and couponing. Trying to save money and get the best deal is kind of like my basketball or football. "Super Bowl? Forget that. Who's got the best price on Doritos this week..!" Talking on the. Maybe see a play once in a while or go to a museum. Maybe do some cooking together. Nothing fancy. Almost no herbs. Just good ingredients well-prepared. Certainly no molecular gastronomy. Maybe take a class together at CRC. Would like to be an "uncle" to a dog.
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So my frustration continues to build. When I met him, he was in his late 30's and told me he was a virgin, he had had only 2 short relationships and never went all the way with either of them. He said this was due to religious beliefs. At the time we met I was 35 and he was 39. We have been married now 8 years, together 9 years. At 35 I had only one real serious term relationship, and a few short terms ones, and had dated a lot. I had always loved sex and considered it the most important part of any relationship. But at 35, I really wanted to get married and have a family. I felt like I kept meeting wrose and worse type guys in my 30's, than I had in my 20's. So I don't know, I guess I can say I was getting desperate. I am glad I stayed with him, even though in the beginning it was very aparent he would never really be that sexual. I am glad because we got married and had a almost immedietly, and my is the best most beautiful thing in my life. But now, fast forward 9 years later, I am depressed. I am 44, not in my 80's! I want to have sex and feel this gloomy feeling, like unless I try hard to initiate, and do all the work, then it wont happen. When we do have sex, its mostly me trying hard to get him off. He has never even tried to give me an orgasm. He once said it takes me too. He maybe has gone down on me less than 10 times in 9 years. WHat is good about him, is he is very loyal, I know he does not cheat, he is always home when not at work, and his only "thing" he likes to do is fantasy football. He much goes along with any idea for what to do, but I usually have to make any and all plans, but he'll go along with them. Regarding sex, in the beginning we would fight over it, and I would wonder if he was (turns out no) I wonder if he just has the worlds lowest sex drive. He claims to be tired .but even when he was unemployed for a couple years, the sex just never happened (unless I tried to get him started). His excuses to me have been too tired that he is shy and does not like initiating (shy after all these years of marriage?) and also doesn't want to do it because I've upset him in some way. SO through the years I've tried different things. looking for a roommate and girl friend.. a planned "date night". Perhaps every Friday.. a planned date. Doesn't have to be big and extravagent, and doesn't even have to be going "out". Can be in the home. Just try to make it less work and a little romantic.. and personal and private. One couple I knew made every Friday night a date night.. While their teenaged watched TV and made their own dinner or ordered take out.. mom and dad started the evening in the tub together.. lol.. they were both Filipino so they both fit in the tub. Then ate dinner (delivered by the -) together in the bedroom. knew they wouldn't much of mom and dad on Fridays. There are so ways to create a little romance. Sit out on the back posrch and watch the got down together. A walk to the store for an ice cream and back. A foot massage while you ask about her day. Coach the to say "hi mom we you" as as she walks in the door Laughter.. about almost anything. free online dating
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