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Sure, he probably fantasized about her when he was her friend before we started dating, but I highly doubt he fantasized about her after we got serious, especially since he was fed up with her shitty behavior. Even if he did think she was hot, so what? As as he's not trying to measure us against each other, masturbating to the thought of her or engaging in any inappropriate behavior I would discourage him from doing with any other girl, I don't care. I think his brother is hot, but he has a repulsive personality, doesn't mean I'm engaging in anything inappropriate. As for the nine years of dating. We're late high-school sweethearts. years into dating, my brother died, putting plans for moving in together on hold. Eventually we moved in together, then my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic, terminal breast cancer. I moved back into her place to be a full time caregiver. That put our plans for marriage on hold. Right now we're trying to get through the next year while retaining our sanity. We don't need the chaos of a wedding on top of the day to day chaos of a cancer diagnosis. You're very judgmental, you know that? For me, exclusive dating for 9 years has worked. We're happy, we're monogamous and we communicate. We know that eventually we want to get married, but we both want to be in more emotionally and financially secure places. think bbc lookingMy boyfriend of 2+ years is a really amazing guy. He's caring, smart, compassionate, polite, funny, and he treats me very, very well. He loves me. I him. I can't imagine a future without him. But he's a loser. For all intents and purposes, by every measure of maturity or success, he is falling behind me. No driver's license, no job (he's laid off for the -), no savings, no ambitions his name isn't even on our lease. I have been asking him to get a driver's license for at least a year, and for some reason, it is impossible for him to fill out a simple form and go to the DMV. I don't want him to be a corporate lawyer or a senator and support me for the rest of my days I just want him to be an adult. Am I putting too much weight on the superficial things that constitute "success"? Shouldn't my feelings for him be good enough? Or am I totally justified in wanting to date a grown up? If so, do I break up with him just because he doesn't have a driver's license? Or do I try to gently nudge him towards some sort of responsible adulthood? And if so how? adult real sex
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