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now they are crap color. Yes your description is much better then mine as to how apr through dec was. But she also told myself and our marriage counselor that everything was working and we were good. The councilor even told us before we could to slow down the sessions as things were on track. I don't think MR. Affair guy is the problem. he is a result of her not being honest before it came to a head for her. As for her putting in the work and me not closing the door? It was wide open and i told her so until Friday night when I saw his car there. I told her and did take the keys to the house, told her I would not be there for her anymore. I get everyone's point of view that I am too available, too open to accepting her back but that isn't the case any longer. I have not been pushing her in anyway. She was inviting me over, asking for my help. Am I a sucker for doing it? probably. but I didnt want the seperation and i wasnt trying to play games. She is still my wife and was swearing on the lives (our way of telling eachother were not lying) that she wasnt having an emotional or physical affair. i took her at her word but obvoulsy I was cautious about it as well or I wouldnt have even felt the need to take a look across the street. No longer available for her and I am not trying so hard. She is waiting for me to move on so she doesn't feel guilty. I not be dating until either comes back or the divorce is final. looking for a mature woman 23 San Diego California 23Sounds like your husband works in construction/construction-related field there's a heavily impacted field in this recession. How's his job? How's his company doing? Maybe he's withdrawing because of money worries, and how's he going to provide for you. Have you talked to him about this? Or (honestly) have you been focused on what you think the need, and somewhat neglecting his needs/emotions? Sounds like you two should get a babysitter or put the to bed earlier, grab some wine, and have a talk. If he's deep in worry over work, then yeah, consider doing the most of the parenting work until the economy recovers, he feels better, and the are older. I read somewhere that fathers don't really start relating to their until around 5-7 years old, when the are past the strong need-for-mommy stage. Also, just a thought do have 2 girls, 2 boys, or boy/girl? If you have 2 girls, are you maybe raising them too "girly" for him to relate to especially if he grew up with mostly or all brothers? Maybe he's feeling outnumbered and retreating to a type of "- cave" ! :) Is it all pink and frills and bows and girly stuff like that? If you can critiy look around and yourself doing this, change it for more of a balance. Paint their bedroom a gender-neutral color, like green or yellow. Have him build a sandbox or playset, get play construction toysets, little sports playsets, etc. married cheaters
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