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so we've discussed kink vs. BDSM and what could be more extreme than the other and what ties both in. but what about the everyday, mundane activities/appointments we deal with that can actually be spiced up with kinky and BDSM twists. for example: of us can't go food shopping without having alternative thoughts. we don't walk through the produce aisle thinking ONLY of ways to chop up that pineapple for a fruit salad (thanks to MWE and t_c). some people would be completely mortified to know we are thinking these things about produce but that's what sets up apart from non-lifestylers. my personal example: going to the dentist. since i have such an intense oral i going to the dentist and feeling him poke around in my mouth, use his instruments on me, feel the buzz of the little polisher, biting down on the x bits, etc. all the while being laid back and lowered in this comfy chair, looking up into his eyes, watching him talk to me as his assistant sucks the drool from my constantly open mouth MMMMMM i going to the dentist and it definitely puts me in a certain headspace. so what are some other, seriously intense examples of situations/feelings you have found yourself in because of something as vanilla as hanging clothes on a line with clothespins. *grins personal adult ads in BelmontThe clue is when you wrote that she said if you are going to play that game and expect me to do it all forget it. She feels pressure and performance anxiety. She probably took the fruit basket and the anniversary night as additional pressure and cracked. With this kind of thing you need to back off. You never get where you want to be with her. Can you accept that? Once she gets the message that you accept her for who she is and what she wants, the pressure be off and she might be more interested in sex. Learning to talk to each other without pressure is hard. I forget if you mentioned it. Have you guys been to counseling? That would help. black relationships
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