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I struggle with a gf sometimes who likes to fancy herself "the chivalrous one." This is for any number of reasons, but the main one is that it sometimes makes me feel like I am either being treated like a or like a delicate little teacup that she thinks break at any moment. The truth is that I LIKE doing things by myself, I LIKE a challenge, and I LIKE having things up in the air. I LIKE being an adult much more than I ever liked being a. And I most certainly am not a teacup. So although I realize that she is doing what she does because she loves me, it is also frustrating, because it takes away of my favorite things. Over time we have come to a good balance of things where she gets to be chivalrous sometimes or in specific ways, but she does not do every thing for me or defer to me always or INSIST that I order first off the menu EVERY TIME. Sometimes she even lets me hold the door. I do not think that the first scenario was her loving "too hard," as you put it, but simply channeling that into the wrong places, or expressing her in a way that was not appropriate for ME. The trick is to find a way to express it that works for both of you, not just one of you. mature bearish Lenoir North Carolina looking for a hardbut to those that judged me: i do admit that i am a spoiled girl. but i never take advantage of my dates. in fact, i am the opposite of a demanding girl. i have a nice life of my own and i've always been able to spoil myself with or without men. if there was one thing i wanted a guy to provide for me that i can't on my own, it's just companionship and commitment. that being said, i do enjoy when my dates go out of his way to treat me like a while i am too, a generous girl. it's not about the gifts,money or 's about the effort a guy puts in for me. and i know and am able to reciprocate with thoughtful gifts and doing nice things for him too. he has also showed no signs of being a player. always supporting me in everything i do, and telling me he'd be a great father someday, how he thinks my parents are so lucky to have a daughter like me..and how he admires his dad blablabla.. it became very hard for me to believe a guy like him could be an asshole :( when he broke up with me,i continued to care for him hoping it change his mind. i wanted to prove that i am a good gf and that i can make his life better. if i acted desperate, it was because i truly wanted something more meaningful with him. i cut him off when i didn't want to be hurt everyday anymore:( but he refused and told me he always be my friend. i disagreed, but he never stopped inviting me out for innocent activities. and i slowly started talking to him like b4. when i agreed to out more often again, it was partly out of curiosity, because it has been a year and i wanted to know if i have really moved on. or even just to prove to myself whether he really cares for me as a friend, or he's an asshole and i should hate him. yet i realized i still have so much feelings for him. I started being nice to him again, even agreeing to design his place free(i'm an interior designer) a part of me just want him to remember me as a girl that did her best, if we were to never talk to each other again after this. as i force myself to move on. i do admit that i am selfish for doing this to my current date. but we are all selfish when it comes to. my can't decide what my heart chooses. my current date doesn't make my heart beat the same way..although his and kindness is slowly healing me. it still doesn't feel the same way :( i don't get any "butterflies". dating web site
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