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the change in dynamic between the two of you when in 'play D/s' mode and the rest of the time when you're in 'caring couple/parenting' mode. My suggestion: when she is to submit to you, have her wear a collar. Make sure the kid is down for a nap or off to bed for the night before you put it on her. YOU take care of anything that comes up when she's collared. But this shouldn't be an issue . all you need to do is order her to stay put while you deal with whatever needs attending (remember, she's in 'submissive' mode as as she's wearing that collar and she does NOT have the authority to remove it herself). When you return, you can resume using her as you fit as her Dom. When you're through with her for the night, thank her for her submission and let her know how much you value it. And go back to being the husband/parent you were before. My 2ยข horney and romantic
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