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Couples counseling can't fix this mess. It's not him, it's not you: it's BOTH of you. You have interlocking pathologies. Your boyfriend is not manly. He's psychologiy primitive. No amount of counseling can change the fact that he's not developmentally ready to be in a relationship. He catch up or catch on ten or twenty years from now. Until then, he's still evolving. Or not. You have your own thing going You picked a skittish childish and stuck him past the natural expiration date. You got a problem and I won't venture a guess as to what it is. Suffice it say: you have no idea what a relationship is. Accept reality: it can't be fixed. You can put in a few more bumpy years until you finally wear yourself out or you can cut your losses now. How to break up: Tell him you TWO have been trying for years and still haven't gotten it right. So you're moving on. Then, wish him a nice life and stay the hell away from him. don't blame him. don't rehash the past for the umpteen-thousandth time. REALIZE it doesn't work. REALIZE it sucks to keep getting dumped by an over-sensitive asshat who can't communicate and won't even buy you lunch. When you're TRULY done with him you won't need to point fingers or write a book. You'll be sick of obsessing about this icky, sticky mess.. I'd dump your therapist too. It's ridiculous you haven't received common sense feedback. The absurdity of these theatrics should have been driven home years ago. It's lunacy for you to keep hoping a pouty uncommunicative grow up overnight. still masturbating as an adult personalssHow on earth can you judge living with someone in an intimate setting when their only qualification for being in your life, much less your house, is Next. Look, I lived alone for over 20 years. I was in some serious realtionships but moving in was never am option. I loved my house, my independence, I loved everything about living alone. So much that I thought maybe there would never be any room for anyone. Then the right one came along and the adjustment was surprising easy. Your plan it's just dumb. If you can't tell your friends because you know the reaction, why do you think this is a good idea? It isn't. I have re-read and can't find anything good about it. You're going to let any loser (you won't know it yet, byt the time you do, too late) move into your house to how it goes. Why bother, we all know the answer. Do you know the landlord/tenant rules in your state. Once someone moves in and pays rent it could be near impossible to get rid of them. Keep dating and when you meet the right one and you've dated awhile, then discuss moving in. Read this forum for while and what happens to the women who do what you want to do (let some guy they hardly know move in) and maybe you'll change your mind. Seriously, this idea is horrible. japanese women
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