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As a and then as a middle aged I did not experience sex, because I entered the seminary and then priesthood, directly out of an all-boys high school. I am not complaining, mind you, since my lifetime of celibacy was a conscious religious commitment. After decades of dedicated religious service and successful ministry to people all over the world, I decided to retire from the church to investigate and pursue the things of worldly life that I had denied myself. First, I obtained a private pilot's license, a real thrill. Not only that, but I learned to sail, to scuba dive, and to drive race cars. I also began to take classes in subjects, I've been like a sponge, soaking up what contemporary life is all about. When taking and computer classes, I discovered the internet and pornography, for the first time. It didn't take to get over being ashamed and to become quite interested in learning about women and sex, via the internet. It's a thrill that eclipsed my other exciting new interests. So, after several years of my retirement, and having become friends with new people, I last night found myself in a rather steamy and intense situation with a particularly charming 49 year old divorced woman, whom I had once known by way of my last church assignment. Having resisted earthly urges all of my life, but now being in the process of great change, and especially since I've discovered pornography, I let my natural male instincts free. I engaged in an amazingly ecstatic, yet profoundly scary, sexual tryst with my friend. Though I am at once quite delighted and excited beyond imagination, I am also troubled by a tremendously disappointing discovery, one that I thought better of continuing to discuss with her, after I broached the subject at the time of discovery, very nearly putting an end to my "journey into manhood" before it began. Please, I just need to get off my chest, my absolute shock and dismay at that which I saw of her naked body, that was in stark contrast to what I've learned about women via internet pornography. Pussy hair. horny women DubuqueI think when ageplay includes the sexual component, it makes me uncomfortable because as an adult, I'm told (and rightfully so) that a -'s/teen's sexuality is not my domain to be in. I remember that time in my own life. The discoveries about who I was at the time, what my body was like, what I was capable of then in comparison to now I remember those times and look on them fondly. But the reason for that is because those memories, those experiences are mine. If I sexualize my own past, it's not "creepy" or inappropriate. But when other people come into focus, even if it's Mr. Vengeance or start to feel a fair amount of discomfort. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. But if wants to be "-" or "little" in a non sexual context, I can give him that. I can give him safety, nurturing, and non sexual affection. That I'm capable of, and am willing to do. It was just a shock at first. I'm still wondering why I never saw the writing on the wall with him. looking to date
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