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Had an unforgettable BITTERSWEET day a week ago. The sweet: I got divorced (over the phone no less). Hard to believe. I was on a pre-scheduled trip and it was the only time all of us (wife, lawyers, and judge) could even come close. The bitter: The divorce process is unfair. My wife entered the marriage broke and leaves with $ , and gets to skip on paying any of her half share of $ million of JOINT debt. And I paid out $ , for her advanced education. Not a bad pay day for 9 years of marriage and no. And the day after the settlement she took a full job after saying she couldn't find work. In contrast I lost million (no typo) during the marriage (inlcuding the settlement). My ex is driving around a Volvo and BMW. I've got a 10 year old "soccer mom's" mini car. I have MS, advanced coronary artery disease, and doubtful chances for working. She lives in a house. I live in an apartment with a beautiful view of a parking lot. Her key: legalized extortion. I could pay out even more in a drawn out divorce process since the high legal and accounting fees would all be born by me (as the judge even had the gal to advise us on, making me a dead duck). And ex assured me she would make the divorce as expensive as possible. Thanks for hearing my rant. I don't expect any smpathy. But I do think the divorce process is an outragious adversarial system that leads to extremely unfair outcomes. looking for a cougar over 401. She said she likes his "carefree-free demeanor" because she knows you aren't that way and you view that as a flaw in yourself. Basiy, she's kicking you where it hurts. 2. She just had stared down a potential death. That effected her. She is probably questioning her life as a whole. 3. You need to confront the fact that she already be out of the relationship; maybe not physiy, but emotionally. 4. Anytime a wife is looking for the husband to "pay more attention" it is because she feels neglected. You not realize this because she, obviously, has a hard time expressing herself to you. 5. She (and you) are accustomed to a certain way of interacting. She wants you to be around more but when you are you get on her nerves because she has come to think of the home as "her domain." Then you are there wanting to turn down the music, turn down the heat, turn off the lights, etc. It pisses women off. She wants you there but at the same time she's gotten so used to being on her own that she's forgotten how to share. I this whole scenario "re-entry." I, too, am wound. My husband has always spent a lot of time doing his own thing and I never wanted to say anything because I wanted him to enjoy his life. In the meantime, I hated mine. The few times I did say something, he did what he wanted anyway because (I think) he was confused. You need to a therapist who specializes in couple communication. Sounds to me like she was raised in a male dominant household and have not been able to speak her mind all these years. I, certainly, could be wrong, but usually women who are hesitant to negotiate limits with their husbands, and state their needs, feel that they are beholden in some way to their husband and that they are responsible for the -'s happiness to the exclusion of their own. free online dating tips
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