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if I can get all Savagey on your ass (so to speak) for a moment there's no such thing as a "gateway -" that's like saying "porn was the gateway that made me crave sex" or: "the missionary position was the gateway that made me want oral sex" if you're craving anal stimulation, there's lots of alternatives to being with a guy scroll back through this forum, there's lot's of regular posters who swear by pegging and prostrate stimulation with their female partners but, if you're curious about trying it with a guy so what? as as condoms are used and your partner is discreet what harm can there be? at worst, you can definitely decide for yourself "that's not for me" at best, you discover something you've been waiting for your whole life IMO, anything you do up to your mid/late 20's is experimentation/exploration ie, it doesn't define who/what you are there are some regular posters on here who didn't figure out who/what they really are till their 40's or even 50's (I'm pushing 50, and I'm still learning who/what I am) you've got years, decades, ahead of you don't waste them on being afraid (I seriously wish someone had explained this to me when I was in my 20's) good luck, f4f and I you'll report back! mature woman smoking Beach City Ohio and fuckYou are on the right road to sorting some of this out, and finding your way out of your confusion. This is only something you can do, but talking about it, opening yourself up to others, discussing your feelings, your fears, here and elsewhere, listening to the responses and the experiences of others who have been in the same position as you are now is possibly the best way to acquire the tools you need to solve your own dilemma. don't feel that you have to come out, yet. In some families and environments it is very easy, in others very hard, and most damaging when you have not prepared yourself for the consequences. Your own understanding of yourself, the building of trust in yourself is the key to then projecting yourself into the world. At 19, a lot of people are unsure of their sexuality, and also at 20 through 80. Sexuality is fluid. Very fluid for some, not so much for others. That you have leaned away from religion and turned to science, gives for you. There is nothing like questioning, exploring, and discovering to expand your understanding of yourself. adult nursing relationships
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