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Been married for almost 4 years, no and in the last 5 months I've been feeling very disconnected from husband. I've communicated this to him and that I have some concerns over what feels like some distance. We both work very hard and sometimes hours, but we almost always make the time to have dinner together and discuss our day, challenges, positives, negatives etc. Every time there is a discussion about how I am feeling, he tells me that I shouldn't feel that way, and that the way I need and accept is f'ed up, I shouldn't need to be filled with physical all of the time. He says he does plenty for me, but when I ask what those things are, he can't be specific. Sex is a once a month thing, and based on my initiation; and substantial amounts of rejection throughout the inbetween times. It seems every time I try to show him my, it goes overlooked. After having another discussion with him this morning, he told me to just stay at work and don't come back and that if what he does isn't good enough, we're done. I don't need a slap on the ass and be told good job, I want his quality time, communication and physical attention; and certainly not all the time, but more than once a month. I want the husband back who did those things before we were married. I didn't grow up with a very accepting or loving family, so I know it's something that I have strived to work toward. Counseling (both of us), reading books, and having a positive self image have brought me a way in our relationship. We have both wanted, but have come to realize that due to medical issues (mine), after trying to 4 years, that having our own not be possible. He says he's okay with it, but I'm wondering if this is the underlying problem causing this disconnect. I him to pieces and can't imagine my life without him; but I am also very hurt emotionally and wanting him physiy, only to be rejected hurts so bad. Where do I go from here? Help please ocassionally lonely white male seeks companionshipWho cares who has what days off when and wherefore? What is wrong with spending part of a work-day (say, after work) with this significant other, perhaps spending the night, and then going your separate ways the next morning when one of you must off to work? That actually sounds like a rather nice was to begin the workday, to me. You can't expect this other person, who you barely know and who've you've been dating for about a minute, to suddenly know how you expect your/ their days of to be spent. You have to admit, your having Monday and Tuesday off is a little odd in the general working world most people, like your SO, have only wkends off. Have you had a conversation with this person told them that you feel like you're putting in more effort than they are? Being that it's so early on in the relationship, I'd be willing to bet that such a statement take them aback a little it seems awfully rigid and routine-ish for so early on. You seem like you're being a little more demanding than is fair, especially from someone so new. Maybe they don't exactly know what you want from them make your feelings known and have a conversation. Work out a plan of some sort together, compromise; this isn't all about you and your schedule, and so on. horney blond
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