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and the refuge of those without considered or explicit examples of failing. I think the more interesting issue here is why you feel you need to conduct a survey to validate what constitutes the label. As with almost everything, this is a matter of opinion and different people have different criteria to qualify. One -'s hero is another -'s reprobate. What some consider rebellion is seen by others as courage of conviction. There is no objective set of standards which can be applied to doom anyone to being a "loser." It is more meaningful for you to decide for yourself what the term means. And then to question yourself about why you feel that way. We can always discover meaningful and interesting things when we examine our own assumptions. If you wish you determine what it is that makes someone in particular apply the designation, ask questions about their assertion. Consider whether their perspective seems valid or is simply a reaction to disappointment. Trying to put yourself in their position can help you understand what values they are applying to the situation that nudge them to their beliefs. Since each of us put different weight on various ideals, knowing which is most important to them (eg; freedom/security, work/free time, spiritual enlightenment/material gain) can be very helpful in ascertaining how they view what makes a person a success or failure. In my experience, most people are doing the best they can. Compassion can go a way towards helping free us of the tyranny of self-righteousness. Philo "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. just want what i needOWNERSHIP, not. Here's what I hear you telling us he's saying: "Ok, ok, I'll change, I really truly but first you have to promise me that even if I don't you'll still stay and take the same crap I've been dishing out for ten years because the truth is I have no intention of changing just making sure I still control you." I'm not saying he's conscious of this thought/behavior pattern though he might be! but that's what he's doing, in effect. It's possible that he can learn to think, feel, behave differently, but it seems like it be an uphill battle for him. Is he worth it? Is the couplehood worth it? Do you think there's something better out there for you? you be miserable being alone? free adult networking
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