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Communication is the key, it starts there. As had been mentioned before, once communications are open, a discussion of fantasies or desires might be next. A little bit at a time. Small steps. When it progresses to the point of expressing a to have sex with another, special care be in order. Make it very clear that it is about you, and what you need to grow and be whole. Not about her, or what she does not want to do in bed. If she loves you, she come to understand that you need this, and she be accomodating. It help a lot if you have been true and trustworthy. YMMV Caution. If your marriage is not stable, and very loving, it well be the last straw. I think it be easier if you have been married a very time, as is often the case for us older married guys who get this itch. My wife was accepting of my bisexuallity right off, but was concerned that I could meet some guy that I might want to run off with. Decades of trust and monogamy helped get the point across that I never leave her. For a couple, the dynamic be rather different. looking for imperfectionIt was an ex, but I didn't know at that time that they had ever dated they dated after his first divorce, and he had always said "No, we never dated, we were just friends." Until I found a greeting card in his shoe from her saying "I you." His explanation up until then was that she was his "best friend" because we had just moved out-of-state. The thing that struck me as most odd about that first initial discovery was that he immediately said "I just won't talk to her anymore." I was asking "What the hell? There's more to this story, isn't there? Why would you just cut her off like that if she is your good friend?" It was particularly suspicious because I was aware of what I thought was their friendship, and I had never discouraged him from being friends with her. I respected it. I look back and how his story developed (and changed) throughout the next year, until I kicked him out, and he admitted to me that his first wife had caught him in bed with this woman. In his warped mind, although he wouldn't admit to me what he had done to me, he thought that if he admitted part of the truth about his ex-wife, that maybe I would think he was telling the truth when he continued to deny ever having cheated on me. The whole relationship was one big, fat lie on his part. From Day 1. get laid
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