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with perspectives from both D/tops and s/bottoms. I'll talk from my perspective, this isn't me representing anyone but myself even tho I'm gonna talk in generals. >"In your dynamic, what constitutes being a "good girl"? " He's given me a mantra from one of our first scenes over the phone several years ago "good girls get to cum, bad girls get nothing". This question brought that right to mind. Automagical :). In our dynamic, "good girl" means I'm being genuine and taking in my submission. It means I'm being forthright and communicative instead of internalizing and shutting down. It means I'm backing up my words here and on fet and wherever I chose to participate in kink discussion with sincerity and action in our personal dynamic. "Good girl" is usually delivered to me spontaneously, when I'm least working for it and instead being more organic. "Good girl" means I'm being true to myself, my desires and what he's learned about me. A "bad girl"? ( not to be confused with naughty) A bad girl is willfully wantonly manipulative. She say she is yours to control and then sabotage interactions by trying to control things herself. She does not have the best interests of herself or the dynamic at heart and she's willing to sacrifice in submission for temporary control of the moment. I'm not talking about being a doormat but I am talking about acting like I take greater pleasure out of being cunning and deceitful over being real and honest. A bad girl capitalizes on hesitation from her top or Dom. She's a calculating little manipulator. At least that's what is going through my mind when I know I'm being "bad". It has a feeling it's not a *cackle cackle I'm going to get him good *menacing glare* sort of feeling I don't feel the need to undermine him but I do get this feeling quite quickly that what I'm doing brings me no and no release no freedom from stress. In fact, it burdens me ly and I start to feel all heavy like I'm hiding behind a lie and just want out of it. There's not a shred of charm, felicity, cheer or amusement in it. For either of us. -cont- real man with a real female bbw for fwbBut what I haven't seen here yet is someone cautioning you about fucking around with coworkers. I don't know . Doesn't seem like a good idea unless your GF's income isn't needed or she can get another job quickly and easily. Usually, "just asking" is the best route, IMHO. There's too people out there like you who are too afraid to just be upfront and ask for what they want. If everybody is looking at the ground and shuffling their feet and waiting for someone to make the first move, then NOBODY gets nookie! It's sad. Take steps, sure, but at least walk in the general direction towards exquisite communication skills. That requires: 1. Taking risks 2. Honesty 3. Confidence 4. Verbal accuracy 5. Respect 6. Self-esteem 7. The willingness to sometimes fail. If not for the sake of picking up on a third, you'll need exquisite communication skills to navigate the pitfalls of an open relationship, so start praticing now. Now, if your GF wants to preserve her employment as well as her reputation at her workplace, you might want to go the route and try to determine her coworkers' bisexuality surrepticiously. That require your own ingenuity. We don't know enough of the factors involved nor do we care enough about YOUR 3-way to form a plan for you. But, if your GF values her job and her reputation there, I think you should just leave her coworker alone and seek gratification elsewhere. black dating websites
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