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point of CL. First off, there was no question, just a big rant. She refers to a "relationship" which she is trying to mask as a friendship, but very poorly. How the girlfriend/wife feels/doesnt feel is irrelevant. Whether she was in the room during the or not does not matter. Its not about the girlfriend. Its about this woman's (or more likely little girl's) obsession with someone who is not interested in a term "relationship" with her. She needs to seek help or move on because as much as she hurt all the other people in the story SHE IS HURTING HERSELF MORE. Look at the facts: 1. She was ing him in another country. Knowing that she was in another country. Is this the behaviour of a friend (or a stalker)? 2. He did not say he was busy. He said it was inappropriate. This is not the language of friends. It is the language of a teacher to a student, or a doctor to a patient, or a parent to a? 3. Did it occur to her that it WAS inappropriate to him in another country? No. 4. She defends her behaviour by saying that she won't stoop to his behaviour. That she wont respond. Then she writes him a letter about it. Really, letters ARE a response. 5. I would say that the girlfriend does not need to be "threatened" by her, but obviously the "boyfriend" has a big need to plant his penis where it does not belong. BUT the threat is not posed by the writer. My GUESS, if you must know, is that these people are co-workers or colleagues and that there was a brief affair. My guess is that this "friend" it significantly older. The writer has worked it into something more in her head. She has decided that if there was no girlfriend (or more likely wife, based on her closing line) that the path would be clear. IT WOULD NOT BE CLEAR EITHER WAY. The writer should move on. Whether she tells the wife or not should be based on her concern for the wife, not based on her own jealousy and insecurity. Likely one day she stalk someone right into a marriage and be a wife herself. Then she the other side of this "relationship". And, oh by the way, why did she post in "divorce", not some other forum? Sounds like she is hoping for a divorce here. lonely cheating wives Orangeburgso if YOU did not originally come up with the figures as what you would settle with and sign off on you ARE running the risk of escalating and creating a bad situation for you at home. Honestly, with drinking and irresponsibility already in the picture I have NO idea why you have not opened your own checking and savings account for your paychecks to go into, withdrawn half of the joint account and put it safely into savings for now, and printed out the DMV forms to change the registration and set up your own insurance policy to kick in asap! And you should have been securing your personal posessions in a locked room he cannot access or a storage facility for safety in any case if he is not always in charge of his actions, a la drinking. Unfortunately, today is a bank holiday and lots of things are closed. Fortunately, if your lawyer sent it in the mail today it won't even be picked UP until tomorrow for the same reasons. Get home, make s to the insurance company, you have to set up the new policy AND fil out a waiver removing him formally since you both reside in the same residence still. If you have online access to the joint account, view and print the account balance and the last month's charges for the record; then get down there and either ATM or one half of the float out. If there normally ISN'T any float, and you are worried about him just withdrawing the money used to pay the bills, YOU take the money out NOW- then, as each is electroniy due YOU deposit ONLY the sum needed to cover the bills no more than 24 hours prior; keep careful logs and lists of these actions and the bills due for the record. IF your paycheck is STILL going into the joint account, contact your PR department immediately to correct it to your new account, but expect it to take a MINIMUM of 3 weeks. Why hasn't your lawyer recommended any of these basic actions when filing for a divorce? Or, if they have, why haven't you DONE them?? Seriously, this is critical basic stuff when you AREN'T divorcing a drinker and having lawyers send demand letters! amateurs swingers
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