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I certainly do not lack for empathy. What I am is bad at harnessing it and channeling it in appropriate ways. This is not a secret. This has never been a secret. Your example on waterboarding is an interesting one. Is a person who waterboards others to teach them what it feels like (you know for their own good) a good person? Or just a sick fuck who is simply perpetuating misery and wrapping it up in a nice story and slapping a moral bow on it to hide the act's true nature? Were the leaders of the Inquisition good people, because they were saving souls? Or were they just sick fucks? Both? Neither? Is a person who waterboards people because they think they're helping someone, and then stops when they realize it's pointless or wrong, an evil person? Or were they simply misguided at the time? I do think there is a real difference between doing harm unintentionally and doing it on purpose. One is unskilled, clumsy. Human and inevitable. The other is malicious and avoidable. Those are, for all their outwardly similar appearances (harm is being done), very different things. Perhaps I am mistaken, but this could certainly be part of what BogeyShooter was attempting to get across. The surface is the surface. There is always more than meets the eye. If you look at the heart of a thing and its bad nature, and you keep doing it what does that say? Have you not actually understood the nature of the thing yet and realized its badness, have you discovered the badness but not figured out how to turn away successfully, or have you discovered that you the thing and have no to leave it be? boring sunday need some excitementI have known this guy for about 10 years. In the last maybe two to years a group of us (him included of course) have gone out for meals to different restaurants which I found very enjoyable and looked forward to very much each month. I occasionally take a glass of wine with my meal as this is all I can ever tolerate. I have noticed this particular individual never took a drink. I did not pay any particular attention to this as I assumed he did just not like the stuff. I know his family back home so we would chat over the phone sometimes, exchanging news. About six months out of the blue he asked me would I like it if he became my boyfriend. I was really taken ignored the question and never brought up the subject again. I was embarrassed. I have never seen this guy with a girlfriend, it does not mean he never had one of course. So, I just assumed that he was a loner and that is alright too. A few years ago a at the dinner table asked him why he never married. His reply was "I never met the right one" this guy is in his early fifties. He is a good looking guy and I have noticed women start up conversations with him. He is polite to them but never forthcoming. We have not seen much of this guy since Christmas. Over the phone he was saying he was sick, had a cold, food poisoning. A few weeks ago he turns up at lunchtime reeking of drink and untidy looking. He was like a different person. A few years back, he did say he was an alcoholic. But, seeing as we had never seen him take a drink, it did not register. This is a hard worker and quite wealthy. You would not think it to look at him on a daily basis, but he cleans up very well indeed. I have not gone out for the meal this month as I really don't know what to say if he is there. I don't want to get involved with a person who drinks heavily. erotic dating sites
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