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Recognizing and admitting that you are codependent is a good thing. You know this guy is a liar and has your trust. He continues to lie to you, even if they're little lies they're still lies. Since he's not changing his behavior and you can't (NOR SHOULD YOU) get past his infidelities, this relationship is never going to progress healthily. Your friend even sees trouble. I think that your instincts that tell you that he's a risk to your future and untrustworthy are spot on. I think your idea to approach it as an addiction is a good idea. I think cutting him out of your life all at once is a good idea. I would have your friend be your "sponsor". When you feel like ing him, her instead and get support from her. Do you and your SO live together? If so, pack quickly and get out quickly, don't let it drag on and don't let him try to draw you back in with honeyed words. Distance yourself as much as you can before and after the breakup. Make sure you have a good support network of friends (or just a couple close friends) to take up your time. If you're feeling super lonely and you think you can handle the responsibility, get a low maintenance pet like a rat, fish, or maybe a cat. I think getting out of this relationship, from what you've said, is going to be a really good move on your part. Just remember, with friends and take up a hobby and maybe a pet. not just sex looking for a likeminded loverfirst of all, he's a coward for texting you and not ing. He did this because he likely knows he's done you wrong, but texted anyway because he's not accustomed to taking responsibility for his actions. (Your story seems to attest to this frailty in his character.) If he ed, he'd have to talk to you in the vacuum, no-fun context of an adult phone conversation. So, there's that. Secondly, the nature of the texts: Do you want to go for a drink? My sense is that he remembers how understanding you were with him for so (read: how you never really made him accountable, until the 11th hour, for his outrageous and sophomoric behaviors). And he doesn't really care how you're doing, frankly (at least, that's what I'd guess); what he cares about is whether or not you'll meet him for a drink, get a little loosened up, and what happens. He remembers how nice you are, he's romanticizing you in his mind right now, I guarantee it. And he wonders if he might be able to weasel his way back into you life or your bed for another go. This is my sense of the situation, based on what you say of his very weak character. Why might he be doing this, you ask? Likely because he's hit a rough spot in his own life and is looking for comfort. That's probably all it is. Take him back, and once things start to feel comfortable, he'll go back to his customary ways of making them uncomfortable. He sounds like a very unhealthy person. And you have a right to feel angry and frustrated that this fool would have the audacity to contact you now. How dare he, right? If I were in your shoes, I'd block his number from texts and s with my service provider, but that's me. don't look back, whatever you do. He sounds like very bad news for you and your family. online dating dating
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