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It crushed me. There were multiple messages to multiple different men. She even went as far as to meet her "first -". There were "I have always loved you's" in some of her messages to her 1st boyfriend. She claimed they never did anything and I believe it as they met in a public place and left separately from there. Again, I confronted her and she broke down and cried how sorry she was, didn't know why she did it and stop and wants to stay married. I told her then that I cannot be in a marriage where I am lied to and cheated on. Yes, she cheated..emotionally. And because I loved her, I decided to stay and work it out. The "ultimatum" as you put it was understood by her. She could've walked out that night. But she stayed. So no, the I found is NOT acceptable under any circumstance. The vows state "-, Honor, Obey". If you can't adhere to the vows YOU swore to, get out. i need company to nightI've already said several times that BBUK clearly didn't intend malice. To me, this conversation is about unintended interpretations. You are trying to convince me that because a word is in the dictionary one way, that that is it's only taken interpretation? You and I both know full well that is not the case. People are extremely creative with the way they use language, especially with nuance and. I can't help but think that this is especially personal for you because of your own family connection to cotton, since you've taken the pains to point that out several times and also that your family is not black. Okay. I can this. But that also does not mean that the phrase is used by people to still mean n____. My own family is Greek, but that didn't stop the Klan from burning a cross on their lawn and considering them "niggers" a couple of generations ago. Historiy, skin color is not the only thing that counts as race in this country. It also includes things like country of origin, religion (Catholics got the short end of it for a time here), class, and occupation. I fall midway between your position and ulula's. I do believe words all words have a time and place in which they can be used. Political or academic discussions, fiction, etc. all seem to me perfectly legit places to use powerful words of this sort. But I think we should consider carefully whether we want to throw them around blasely in everyday speech, not even realizing their meaning. Little say things are "-" or "niggerknock" on people's doors and run away without knowing what those words mean, often without intending any malice at all. That doesn't make them less painful to overhear. But one can that when they discover their meanings they have the decency to either stop using them or use them only in thoughtful contexts. adult ads
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