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Well the reasons why it lasted this is really a lot of factors rolled in together, that's why it makes it harder to decide. He is almost perfect. He is very nice, considerate, caring, responsible and all that. He is also goodlooking, tall and financially stable. He is also very committed to us, loyal and very much in with me. He also doesn't drink and doesn't do. We are both home bodies and very much alike so I think we are very compatible. That's why it makes me feel that it is a HUGE mistake to leave the same time, I did try to communicate with him my feelings, I've tried to open communication in our relationship. I've always talked about it, about being alone. I didn't just tell him that last month. We have been talking about it for the past 2 years, or maybe even 3 years. He would always enumerate all the reasons why we should be together, all practical reasons really, and they seem correct and I would believe him and agree that he is right, then that's that for a while until I start talking about it again. Then the cycle begins. This cycle of agreeing then changing my mind went on and on for the past few years, it is regular, like every 2-3 months or even 6 months. Some talks would be more emotional than others. This is why I feel that I really just have to do this because this idea keeps on coming back. It is not a secret, he knows full well. His reasons are all practical and logical, my reasons are more emotional based. My reasons for wanting to be alone is because I just want to grow up. I want to be independent. I want to achieve things (on my own). I want to explore. I want to decide for my own life. I want to be free to choose (this applies to any situation) His reasons why we should stay together is because we each other, we are very compatible and we have good future plans together. We are good together. I am 36 and he is 46, btw. I am at a point right now when I really just want to make a decision once and for all and not be swayed by his reasons (which all sounds correct, by the way) I just want to end this cycle of going back and forth, of not being sure. I want to make a decision and stick to it. I feel that I am leaning towards stopping this LTR and just be alone (for a while and what happens) But just before I do that I write here coz' I want to hear what you think. Negative or Positive. horney mature girls Ploverthe full context is that the poster asked you not to breed "until she is dry for a year or more." much what I said, in fact. Relatively few people popped off with the opinion you should NEVER breed. Ignore those, and pay attention to the real substance. The trouble here is that she has a serious drinking problem, even though she does not drink every day. She's a binge drinker. There are enough people here with experience either being or dating or living with alcoholics or users that we can say firmly: this is unlikely to work right now. If you break up on the grounds of her drinking, she is face to face with the consequences of her choices. She can then either continue her downward spiral because her "friends" encourage it, or wake up and decide she doesn't want to lose all at a life with you or a good life in general, and go to AA and sober up. Incidentally, this also gives you time to get over the idea that lying and snooping are easy ways to resolve your own problems in relationships. I agree that people shouldn't be lightly dismissed as easily replaceable. However, neither should they be kept in relationships with you in the presence of genuine dealbreakers. Uncontrollable binge drinking and lying are dealbreakers in most people's books. swinging club
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