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Since then, there’s been some family fall out. Mostly from my younger sister who DOES get along with him. But, we’ve made peace and people have mostly been very supportive. I had more than one family member tell me they couldn’t believe I hadn;t done it sooner. He’s just nastier to me, for some reason. At any rate, he is now quite ill. He has dangerously high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, an eating disorder, a problem, no teeth (thank you meth!) and has essentially been laid off from the job he’s had for about 35 years. He is on the verge of losing his feet, owns no real property, and has no savings whatsoever. My sisters are all struggling financially, and no one is in any position to take care of him. Though I am by far the best equipped to do so, I absolutely refuse. I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel obligated. I am a compassionate person who can and does take care of people all the time with great satisfaction. But this person spent my whole life abandoning me only to come back and me. I don’t care if he meant to, or couldn’t help it. I’m not mad and I don’t wish him ill, but I refuse to allocate any of my time, energy, or resources to a person who has never been anything but selfish and cruel to me. Though I am absolutely certain your husband and aunt mean well, you have to do what is best for you. They cannot know what you have been through with your mother; people who have parents who them cannot possibly understand what it is like to have parents who do nothing but them. They are weighing the matter on the scale of their experience which cannot account for the trauma caused you by this person; someone who in their world was a loving protector not a chaotic source of fear and pain. Ultimately, you have to decide what you can and cannot abide. You through the muck of confusion and arrive at a place where you can what you must do, but don’t let the voices of people who are simply unable to fathom what you have experienced sway you to think you don’t know what is best for you. You have my very best wishes. any am girl wanna try analbut the oldest is the issue. While even stbx wants me to adopt her I already contacted a lawyer who knows the judge very well and said it wont happen. Kid have same judge as we live in same county where she was born and mom and bio dad went to court ago and same judge still there. If I go for full then I could loose the oldest. I cant do that to her. Rock and a hard place. I have had and some I even respect tell me that I should go for full of the bio's and let the chips fall where they for the oldest with most saying she wont let the oldest be separated from the other but I never thought she would do half of what she has already so I am wary of that. As for the BF issues ..that is the only issue we have. She tells me she agrees and wont have BF around then she does anyway and is now telling they arent allowed to tell me. are emotionally torn. I dont ask questions but when one of them talks the oldest yells at them saying to stop. I did ask oldest why she says it and she said that mom told them I yell at mom and then she yell at. Fucking nightmare. seduction
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