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ca65 can i find love again;-) I'm honest. But I try to not be hurtful. So unless he looks awful/inappropriate, I'm not likely to say anything. But I can almost always find one thing to compliment a guy I'm with on, and I try to focus on those things. I've noticed that when I compliment my guy, I'll the same thing (or similar clothing items) show up more often. My fave ex has this Jennings sleeve t. He was wearing it one of the first times we met, and it really looks good on him! I loved it both because he looked good, and because it reminded me of our honeymoon stage, and I'd always compliment him when he wore it. We've gotten together over drinks about 12-15 times since we broke up and probably 5 of the times he was wearing it. Last time it happened, I teased him (kindly) about it, and asked whether his gf should be worried was he trying to sweep me off my feet? And he laughed and said "You made me feel good whenever I wore it, so I wear it a lot because it makes me feel good." He also said that I always made him feel as though I was proud to have him by my side when we went places, so he'd try to pay attention to my compliments so he'd know I could be proud. Does that make sense? It's like reward-based training. (I know I get flak for this.) If you recognize and praise the things you like, you'll that more often. I find too, that as the praiser, I look more for things that I like, rather than things I don't so I overlook minor things that are non-issues that I might otherwise focus on like in his case, it'd be that he *always* wore stained black carhartts pants, never jeans, or cords, or what not. Honestly, if I'd focused on that, it would have bugged me to no end. Instead, I it as one of his quirks that make him uniquely him. Anyway. Praise is good for both people. Negativity is bad for both people. I try to set the example of what I'd like and expect from my partner, and honestly? I *-* compliments. mature womens
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