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ca65 this is really a long shot butI think I'm going to say something that not a lot of guys on this board are going to agree with But, based on my limited dealings with this board and men in general, maybe you and by extension, we are a little jaded. Perhaps we are dealing with a community where it is okay to "whore around", where sex is a "conquest"? Why must a nice guy remain a friend (I assume he's nice)? Why can't a "conquest" become something more, something more meaningful, or at least something other than a one night stand. Why does it frequently seem, based on personal experience and what is posted here, that sex and any other form of intimacy are mutually exclusive? "I got to get that hot stud", but never talk about meeting someone that one really gets along with. Are we just a culture of? Do we just that illusory Perfect Fuck? I mean, look at the bar scene look at everyone looking at everyone. Just looking. Not talking. LOL, and even I admit that this sounds so touchy-feely, artsy-fartsy, lets-all-hold-hands silly, especially to a New Yorker like myself. But I think that it has a kernal of truth. I think "Sexual Ecology" is a must read. Basiy it advocates taking that I dunno what to it that driving to find the perfect sex partner and try to start building lasting relationships. If one starts wanting something more and taking steps towards that, then that something more happen. It not be Perfect, but it can be good all the same. You just have to want it. AND give up chasing Go Go boys. :-) Okay, you all can excoriate me now common dating
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But not have the same nature as them. You two do not have the same nature. And the thing is you cannot change soeones nature without resentment being the outcome. You are already experiencing it by you getting rid of some pets for him. You probly hate that you had to do that. You plenty of people that do not share a nature with. You just cannot have a successful, LTR with them. Story i like: Guy is a 80 hours a week hard driving career guy who loves the big city and he meets a great woman who he loves but her nature is to work a few hours a week, read, and listen to on a porch in the woods. no doubt there can be there, but changing either of thier natures for each other would just lead to unhappiness on one of thier parts. Nobody is wrong, the natures just do not line up. Relationships are easy when two people have the right nature. And fighing against it is insanity. Pets example below: Guy sees his friend and he looks very upset: Hey whats the matter? Well I just got this cat and I cannot keep her off the furniture. I have beaten the hell out of it and it not stay off the furniture. Well why does it bother you that it is on the furniture? Well I had a dog that never did that. So the simple answer is if you are a dog in nature find another dog, do not try to turn a cat into a dog. mature discrete relationship
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