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i need a real sub As I it, you have some options: 1. Encourage her to go to a marriage counselor with you perhaps coming from a third party, not you, help her to the light and commit to a more lasting, loving relationship with you and her daughter. 2. Accept the status quo (your wife's outlook on marriage and family), and do what you can to pick up the slack so your daughter doesn't experience a broken home. 3. Recognize that it takes TWO to make a successful, lasting marriage and you can't do it all alone. You picked the wrong marriage partner if you wanted your marriage to model what your parents have. You'll have to take the risk of divorce, and hopefully picking better next time, or living as a single parent. 4. Get some hobbies of your own two nights a week, just as she's doing, opposite of her nights. Taste of her own medicine. Then renegotiate with her a recreation schedule for both of you that's also fair and for your daughter. I don't the issue with Rockfest (why don't you go with her?) or the girls' weekend a few times a year you could do the same, it's. But two nights a week IS a bit excessive. She needs to realize that. 5. Seems the two of you need to plan some better quality time together, either as a family, or as date nights (hire a sitter or recruit a family member). Since your wife doesn't know how to do this (her modeling examples, remember), then work with her on this talk to her, ask for her ideas and suggest some of your own, and schedule some plans. 6. Stop FIGHTING. I'm serious. It takes two to fight. One has to start it, but the other has to participate too, or it's not a fight. Just don't. don't raise your voice, don't go tit-for-tat, don't compete. Walk away if necessary. Keep your voice calm, speak reasonably, and if she's not receptive to that, then wait until a better time to discuss the issues. But REFUSE to fight about it. If you don't add fuel, then her fire die down quickly. It's a new habit, learn it. Just my two cents. (Or twenty, whatever.)
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